Brenda...

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Brenda...
3
Sun, 07-17-2005 - 9:38pm

Brenda,

I just wanted to say how proud I am of you for taking the step to look for some good things about the whole situation... no, its not easy... I've been in your shoes (ie xh left me and ds) and it took me a long time to get through it (I had severe issues for about three months...)... one day it got to the point where it was hurting me more, physically and emotionally, to keep trying than to accept it and begin moving on... I'd like to share a passage that really helped me figure out when that was, from one of Karen's favaorite authors, Iyanla Van Zant in her book Until Today...

I am willing to acknowledge...
I am at the point of no return.

When you reach the point of no return in a particular situation, it means that you have given all that you can give, taken all that you can take, learned all you can learn, taught all you can teach, been all you can be. You realize there is no hope of things getting any better, and you have done all you know how to turn things around. When you finally reach this point, please remember this is not a bad thing. It is simply time to move on.

You will know you have come to the point of no return when your joy is gone, your peace is at risk, you ae groping for some meaning, you are looking for a reason. You are no longer mad. You can't even get angry.

When you come face to face with the point of no return, remember the good times, appreciate the joyful times, be grateful for any support, encouragement or contentment you experienced. Pack all of these things in a corner of your heart and take them with you as you move forward. Acknowledge and accept that you may not be able to go back to what you had but that you have something to take with you on your new journey.

Until today, you may have resisted the need to move beyond the point of no return. You may have been looking for reasons to stay in an experience that no longer suits your needs. Just for today, acknowledge your needs and prepare your Self to pack and move on.

I hope that this passage helps you assess where you are and helps you as you continue on your journey...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: momtojoeybear
Sun, 07-17-2005 - 11:28pm
Thanks Julie! It is a wonderful passage.
I have trouble seeing this as the point of no return. If he had just been willing to try and fix this I know we could have. He just didn't want to admit he made a mistake. I pray for the day I find some peace in this. He has always known what was best for me, maybe he isn't wrong this time either. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: momtojoeybear
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 11:14am

Hi Brenda..... I really think that you might get some benefit from Iyanla Vanzant


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: momtojoeybear
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 1:41pm
Thanks Karen I'll have to check her out! Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda