Bringing the kids around his girlfriend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Bringing the kids around his girlfriend?
11
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 8:37am
I have found out my husband is bringing my children around his girlfriend. They are very young, 3 years and the baby is only 10 months. It really angers me because he was bringing them around her when we were still talking about getting back together. Neither one of us has filed for divorce, I can't believe he would do such a thing.
My 3 year old is very upset about it and just gives me bits and pieces, but he seems very bothered when we talk about it. I get soo angry when I find out because our kids have nothing to do with this! Why when he has them does he have to bring them around HER, why can't he see her after he drops them off? I mean, I have them every weekend night, so he's free to do what he wants. I just feel like he needs to keep them out of it and not bring them around her. I tried to have a civil conversation with him stating my wishes for our children and how I didn't think it was right. And he blew up at me, and I dont know why? I hope he wouldnt want me to bring our children around other men, too, ya know? Has anyone dealt with this before? IS there anyway I can write in the divorce papers that hes not allowed to bring them around her?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 9:41am

Talk to the girlfriend and not the children, say right now you don't her to be with your children.


Your 3 year old

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2006
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 8:02pm
I believe you can have a clause put into the divorce agreement that stipulates "no overnight opposite sex guests" while the children are there overnight. That won't help you right now, but is something you may want to consider later. Hugs.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 7:48am

What is exactly a

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 9:09am

My attorney told me that it was pointless to put anything in the paperwork that addresses new flames, after all, "in this day and time" it's so socially acceptable to have live-ins and overnight guests, that the courtrooms would be flooded with cases.


Her point was the the more important issue was that kids not be subjected to inappropriate conduct, and that conduct would be the same inappropriate conduct that would be for married parents or unmarried lovers.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 9:30am

Ah, then I'm getting it.


It

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 9:47am
I don't think culture plays into what I meant.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 1:28pm
I trusted his judgement, too. Right up until he cheated on me.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 2:23pm

When you talk to him, set up the same rules that you want to have, so if you don't ant to show your kids your new boyfriend or have your new boyfriend near your kids , then set this rule for the both of you.


All rules

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 2:40pm

*LMAO* Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.

My XH is the one who put the "no overnights" clause into our agreement and he's the one who broke it. Yes, everyone SHOULD be an adult and act as such. Everyone SHOULD be a parent and really PARENT their children, but this isn't a perfect world.

The best most of us can do is damage control while hoping for the best in the long run.

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 3:25pm

*smile*


I have been a stepmother so I have seen how it is to be the new woman and how sometimes the law favors the mother even if she isn't a good mother.

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