I don't blame you at all R... After last night you'd be crazy to let her go with him... then again, he is crazy, so it probably makes sense to him on some strange, obscure level.
Thanks Girls, I actually just posted this elsewhere & answered myself, lol:
******** His response to the email ... changing his tactic now ... was "can i please see Averey".
Im NOT going to lie. WHY THE F does it tug at my heart strings?????? God, its incredible that I can still feel freaking badly for him. Its T-day, his Dad just died, he will be all alone. I mean really, i know he made his bed - but still, it makes me so sad. I must be overtired b/c now Im freaking crying. Ugh.
I am off Thur day, not working till 3. Do you guys think it would be ok, in your opinion, to offer to have breakfast with him in some public place or something, on the holiday? Just so she can see her dad? Obviously if he was innapropriate we could up & leave easily. Do you think Im nutz for even suggesting it? & who knows, he may refuse it anyway? What are you opinions?
I offered - I called my friend who is a -- I told her in reality, i think it would make it easier on ALL of us. Since i have to work at 3pm on Tday, Ave is DEFINALTY going to have an "issue" with that - & I am SURE, be upset that she cant be with either of her parents. She will be at my SIL's, but its not her favorite place to go. Its b/c i just have no other person TO watch her.
Plus, i think that if she gets seeing him out of the way, it will alleviate some of her stress, she wont be AT my SIL's that nite, while I am at work, missing her Dad b/c its a holiday & she isnt with him, & maybe calling him crying. & in TURN, if none of THAT happens, then *I* will be WAY WAY less stressed out about it all AND about leaving her on the holiday to work (b/c i have no choice).
I just sent him this: "The best I can do for you is offer to bring her to meet you for breakfast or an early lunch, on Thanksgiving - somewhere. That way you can see her for a while, while I am around. If you are planning to be at someones house for T-day, I am happy to bring her wherever you are, up till about 2pm. ---- Let me know if that works for you. Im sure she will be happy to see you. She is at dance right now, & i wont tell her anything until I get confirmation from you. ---If you say ONE THING to make her feel badly, or against me, i will take her & leave IMMEDIETLY."
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
Girl, you are tired.... Unless he comes back with a super-de-duper appropriate message of thanksgiving for your generosity, so WAY would I agree to meet him.
Rebecca... if he was so mad as to tell the counselor how "terrible" he thinks you (and Ave are---because the apple doesn't fall from the tree), I would be very cautious about meeting him... on such a vulnerable day.
I know Averey is concerned about him and really wants to see her dad... when he's nice... but I'm not convinced he can pull that off... and if he screws it up, then you have to leave and go to work, that won't be good.... just my opinion :-)
You're smart and careful with Avery and I know you will do your best to protect her.
In the meantime, remember something very important throughout this process. We all want our Exes to behave the way we want them to, wish they would, and hope they will. Hidden deep down we all think if they would "just be that person" then I could live with my choices (to limit visits, or see a counselor, or whatever we do to get on with our lives.)
Well, just remember, your Ex is a master manipulator. He knows just what to say, how to say it, and how it's going to hit you: all so he can have HIS way.
Thanks Girls, I actually just posted this elsewhere & answered myself, lol:
******** His response to the email ... changing his tactic now ... was "can i please see Averey".
Im NOT going to lie. WHY THE F does it tug at my heart strings?????? God, its incredible that I can still feel freaking badly for him. Its T-day, his Dad just died, he will be all alone. I mean really, i know he made his bed - but still, it makes me so sad. I must be overtired b/c now Im freaking crying. Ugh.
I am off Thur day, not working till 3. Do you guys think it would be ok, in your opinion, to offer to have breakfast with him in some public place or something, on the holiday? Just so she can see her dad? Obviously if he was innapropriate we could up & leave easily. Do you think Im nutz for even suggesting it? & who knows, he may refuse it anyway? What are you opinions?
**********************************************************************************
I offered - I called my friend who is a -- I told her in reality, i think it would make it easier on ALL of us. Since i have to work at 3pm on Tday, Ave is DEFINALTY going to have an "issue" with that - & I am SURE, be upset that she cant be with either of her parents. She will be at my SIL's, but its not her favorite place to go. Its b/c i just have no other person TO watch her.
Plus, i think that if she gets seeing him out of the way, it will alleviate some of her stress, she wont be AT my SIL's that nite, while I am at work, missing her Dad b/c its a holiday & she isnt with him, & maybe calling him crying. & in TURN, if none of THAT happens, then *I* will be WAY WAY less stressed out about it all AND about leaving her on the holiday to work (b/c i have no choice).
I just sent him this:
"The best I can do for you is offer to bring her to meet you for breakfast or an early lunch, on Thanksgiving - somewhere. That way you can see her for a while, while I am around. If you are planning to be at someones house for T-day, I am happy to bring her wherever you are, up till about 2pm. ---- Let me know if that works for you. Im sure she will be happy to see you. She is at dance right now, & i wont tell her anything until I get confirmation from you. ---If you say ONE THING to make her feel badly, or against me, i will take her & leave IMMEDIETLY."
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
Girl, you are tired.... Unless he comes back with a super-de-duper appropriate message of thanksgiving for your generosity, so WAY would I agree to meet him.
Rebecca... if he was so mad as to tell the counselor how "terrible" he thinks you (and Ave are---because the apple doesn't fall from the tree), I would be very cautious about meeting him... on such a vulnerable day.
I know Averey is concerned about him and really wants to see her dad... when he's nice... but I'm not convinced he can pull that off... and if he screws it up, then you have to leave and go to work, that won't be good.... just my opinion :-)
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Rebecca,
You're smart and careful with Avery and I know you will do your best to protect her.
In the meantime, remember something very important throughout this process. We all want our Exes to behave the way we want them to, wish they would, and hope they will. Hidden deep down we all think if they would "just be that person" then I could live with my choices (to limit visits, or see a counselor, or whatever we do to get on with our lives.)
Well, just remember, your Ex is a master manipulator. He knows just what to say, how to say it, and how it's going to hit you: all so he can have HIS way.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020