Called Police 4 Warrant

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Called Police 4 Warrant
2
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 10:57pm

Finally heard from my caseworker because last documentation I received about X and his non payment of CS and his failure to appear was dated 05/20/06 which I received on 05/27/06. Their letters are so frickin confusing and it said something that he had 21 days to bring his account up to date or ELSE some confusion term words. So I asked my casworker "Does XH have an active bench warrant?" Very rudely she replied "Yes ma'am he does." I said well the last letter I received from your office back in May said he had 21 days..." she interrupted "Ma'am NO ONE gets time to make up a failure to appear a bench warrant is automatic." I said "Well last time you issued one you sent me a letter stating that and then 2 days later it was revoked." She said "Well I don't know why that happended but he does have a bench warrant and normally we don't tell you for every little thing."

I am so angry with them. I know I am not the only family she works with but hello that is your job if you can't handle it then resign.

So I called the police in the town that my XH lives in and told him where he would be - my DD is with me until this Friday when it is his turn to have her. My XH is close to $3000 in arrearages. I know that some people are 10's to 100's of thousands in arrearages but in my case (not that mine is the worse I understand that) but he doesn't pay for her but he is more than welcome and priviledged to have quality time with our DD. But no financial responsibility while I work 3 jobs and feel guilty when she is with me and I have to go to work. (Not all the time she is with me) But then he gets to sit on his lazy butt and not go to work, continue to have children, his GF lives off and supports her kids on welfare and our DD has surgery and he can't come to see her because he doesn't have a car but then he just got a new car but my 6yr just made me know for sure that "IT ISN'T MY DAD'S CAR IT IS **** CAR." Why would she need to tell me that?

So I have no idea if the police will/have gone to get him. Police won't ignore my call will they? I did NOT call because I thought it was something cruel to do I did it because he should be responsbile and give our DD what she deserves. I have bills galore from her surgery - yes I have insurance which I pay $135 per pay for her and I. I have to cover her first $289 out of pocket. WHICH DON'T GET ME WRONG I WILL WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR MY DD AND WORK FOR WHATEVER SHE NEEDS. But he needs to know that he is responsible and someone needs to make sure he does - the law. It is out of my hands!!!!

Ughhh....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:30pm

Bummer!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:38pm

wow, i am sooo sorry to hear about your frustrating ordeal regarding getting child support from your EX; it appears to be the same, unfortunate story.

HOW, for the life of me, HOW are men able to easily walk away from their responsibilities, their own children??? disconnecting themselves not only financially, but also physcially and emotionally, i fail to understand it. your story frightens me so because it's just a foreshadowing to what i will experience with my STBX, who makes between $14K to $20K a month, has two luxury cars, a business, purchased his mother's home, and has decided since early june to NOT support our twin DSs in ANY way, not a dime!

and in my heart, i know i'll end up shelling out thousands and thousands of dollars in attorneys fees ONLY to end up where i started: caring for our sons on MY OWN, while STBX continues living his carefree, very happy life (as he often informs me) with skank GF, doing ALLL the things with her that he REFUSED to do with me, including spending large amounts of money on her while his sons go without practically everything his salary could afford, while i struggle to provide food, shelter, clothing with school coming up, and yes, the insurance you mentioned. i feel you on that one: i pay in excess of $345 out of my check to cover sons and me. maybe the good guys do finish last; i don't want to believe it, but why, why, why are the bad guys "rewarded" so and able to go on with life in a seamless and carefree way???

i just know in my case that STBX will NOT obey any decree, legal or otherwise, mainly because he knows the justice system is injust at times and because of inadequate resources and consistent "blunders" he'll be able to skip CS payments often as he likes, JUST to hurt ME. and with him being self-employed, there's no "garnishing" of wages, to my understanding, so i'm just preparing myself to be "without" for seven more long years of endeavoring to raise these boys. many times, i just consider letting STBX "win" and allowing him to raise the boys because this is extremely overwhelming.

he dished this ultimatium (sp?) to me early june that essentially said if i didn't agree to seeing our sons every other weekend (as HE preferred as he would have primary custody), then i could "come pick them up and raise them myself ... good luck with that; i'll see them when they turn 18" ... ever since, i've been struggling emotionally, financially & otherwise. have sought counseling for our family, but at the end of the day, i still need to feed my sons & need HELP from their dad ... argh! sorry for the long post, i truly understand what you are going through and wish you the best in navigating the legal system in getting the support you need for your DD ...

hugs!