Can he do this?
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Can he do this?
| Fri, 04-01-2005 - 11:22am |
Hello,
I am taking my daughter with me back to my hometown in a cuple weeks to go and sort things out ,visit family and possibly see a lawyer. I told him last night. He was not happy at all.
He said what if I take her for a visit.. how would you like that? I did not answer. I am afraid. Could he legally do this without my consent.? I sure hope not.
Thanks
I am taking my daughter with me back to my hometown in a cuple weeks to go and sort things out ,visit family and possibly see a lawyer. I told him last night. He was not happy at all.
He said what if I take her for a visit.. how would you like that? I did not answer. I am afraid. Could he legally do this without my consent.? I sure hope not.
Thanks

The only way you are going to both get over your fear without making this turn into a battle is by talking. The only way I got my ex to understand that his fears were unfounded was by getting him to tell me his fears and me telling him why he could feel safe those things (me taking dd away from him) would never happen. I spent months letting my ex talk and talk and get it all out, and me reassuring him that no I wasn't going to change my mind about the divorce but no, I also was not going to take everything from him, and then backing my words up with actions.
Since you are not talking about divorce yet, you don't have to talk about it, but you do need to talk to him and get him to say why he's so angry and reassure him that this is just a trip and you are coming back (if that is one of his fears) and that you will do other things that might make him feel better - like letting dd call him every night or something like that.
If you don't talk to him about it then the fear and anger will fester inside both of you and this whole thing will get uglier and uglier.
I do appreciate your honesty here,but that is not the case. I am just worried if he were to take her for a trip she would be emotionally hurt,wanting MAMA. He knows this too.
I did think about this and asked him to come with, at least maybe a few days about of the 8 days we are going. And I did tell him if he wanted to take her on a trip , it would be okay. He wouldn't , but it would be okay. LLike you said, I can ..so why can't he..But it would hurt her and I wouldn't want him to. I may even tell him, if he REALLY doesn't want me to go, maybe I won't. I am not sure. But I know if I don;t I will be more resentful.
We will see.
Thanks for listening, and good luck with yourself