Can he really do anything about this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Can he really do anything about this?
31
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 3:41pm

OK. So ex-h and i have joint-legal custody. i have SOLE physical custody. My Mom watched our son most of the time .. he is in parent's day out 2 days per week, 5 hours per day. My mom is out of town next week. I told him she's out of town for less time than she really is because i knew he'd throw a fit about someone else watching him. i have arrangements for people to watch him ... monday he's with my brother's girlfriend, Tuesday my brother will take him to school, and ex will pick him up. Wednesday by brother will take him and pick him up. Thursday nad Friday I'm off and he'll be with me. He knows that I'm off Thursday and Friday so I told him that my mom was leaving wednesday night. Just to eliviate any problems. He told me that if he found out anyone other than my MOM was picking him up from school there would be problems. Can he really say or do anything about this? Is it just a waste of his time to try? Time and money .. my brother is 19, by the way. Totally responsbile, and really, really good with our son.

OK .. does it make a difference that he's about $1500 in arrers on child support, and has at least one warrant out for his arrest .. the one I know about is a criminial warrant, for passing bad checks.

Does he really have a legal leg to stand on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 8:34am
The lying in court was to get a restraining order. Which I got. And has since been dropped. IT wasn't for abuse. IT was for threats. Although he did punch my arm, but I even told the judge in that hearing that it wasn't done in a harmful way ... but that is what the lying was in regards to. I am aware that it was perjury, and know I shouldn't have done it, however it now really means nothing, since I have long since dropped the restraining order. I dropped it before the divorce was even final.
I'll have to see if I can get soem legal advice and see what they say. Becaue I KNOW that what ex told me, that joint legal custody is ANYTHING pertaining to our sons well being, and that would include my (in his opinion) irresponsible brother picking him up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 10:06am
Yes, you definitely need that legal advice to clarify what he and can't have a say in. Is he available to pick ds up on those days instead of your brother or his gf? That would make a difference. If he's not and he's working and all you are doing is arranging for alternative care when neither parent is available to pick up, that should be fine IMHO and from what I know about this kind of thing.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:07pm
It just makes me so mad. I mean here I am, trying to be responsbile, and taking care of things and making arrangements when my original arrangements aren't working, and I get crap because of it. It just sucks. HE is mean, hateful, and spiteful. I ruined his life, he'll ruin mine -- famous line he uses all the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:47pm
Really, really nervous now. My brother has been dropping my son off at school the past few weeks. Haven't told ex becuase really it's no business of his who drops him off as long as he gets to school. Well now with all of this hullaballo about not wanting my brother to drop him off he's gotten all worried about who is dropping him off in the mornings. I told him my parents were leaving wedneday. I should just have told him they were leaving Thursday becuase now he's like "It's not your brother dropping him off is it?" ... so now I'm worried he'll ask the school who has dropped him off and they will tell him it's my brother .. and then he'll freak. do you think if I called the school and talked to the director and told her not to let him know that my brother dropped him off I'd be out of line?


Edited 7/18/2005 4:48 pm ET ET by klo73
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:49pm
Let him freak, he really has now power over you unless you give it to him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:53pm
I'm very worried about him then trying to keep our son when he picks him up wednesday and tell me I can't have him back. he would do that. or call his lawywer and since the lawyer supposedly has these transcripts of me lying in court and having all that brought to light. I just prefer he not know that my brother dropped our son off...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 5:05pm
Call your attorney NOW.
Sanguine
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 5:09pm
I have no attorney anymore. My case has been closed. I have no more money to get her back or any other one for that matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 6:10pm

He can't just keep your son if you have a court order that you have primary physical custody and specifies which days he is to have your ds. If he wants to keep your son he has to file with the court for a change in custody and prove you are a danger to your child. If he keeps your son, all you will have to do is call the police, let him know he has not returned your son and show them a copy of the court ordered custody agreement. Call the police and ask them if they will enforce your court order, I'll bet they tell you 100% yes.

In fact, if he knows you lied in court and he did not immediately make the court aware of it, but instead sat on the information for a while until it was advantageous for him and he wanted to use it against you for other reasons, that will look very bad for him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 6:37pm
klo, I just reread your first post and you mention that he has a warrant out for his arrest.
Sanguine