Can I call police to make him move out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
Can I call police to make him move out?
4
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 1:20pm

Well, I think it is final, we are getting a divorce. I've wanted one for a long time, but then he seemed to be balking (why wouldn't he? he lives rent free, doesn't have the stress of taking care of our baby b/c I do everything, he just gets to hold her when he wants to, I'm paying his credit card debt, etc. etc....sweet deal!) But I've started going insane in this situation, and have had a couple of break downs begging him to get out so that at least I can have my own space and not feel so completely used and taken advantage of.

He won't leave, and in fits of anger he even has told me that I have to leave and he'll stay in the house with the baby. (Yeah, right, and when she's hungry I'll just come over and let her nurse and then leave again.)

Can I call the police and get their help in getting him out? He isn't abusive at all, so it isn't that kind of situation. But how can I get him to leave? Isn't this the most pathetic situation? Most men would at least have the dignity to get out temporarily, even if they did have some stake in the house etc. (and by the way, I bought the house and have paid every mortgage payment and paid for every repair and remodel, but of course I'll get screwed on that and will have to pay him thanks to community property laws.)

I just can't believe I married this person...but when I think those thoughts I know it was worth it because I have my beautiful daughter and therefore have absolutely no regrets. She's who I want to protect from all of this ugliness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 4:19pm

Your post sound extremely familiar to me!! I have been picking up most of the slack financially in our house. I was feeling like my husband just wanted to be a stay at home Dad and I had no choice in the matter. I felt cornered with no choice but to pay the mortgage payments, car, utilities because everything and had my name on it and I don’t want my credit to be ruined like his.

I’ve heard the same thing… “If you want to leave go and I will stay home with our son cause your are the one that wants to break the family”

One time I called the police to get him out but no luck!! Even if he is not on the title of the house by Florida law the police cannot force him out. One thing I have been doing is letting some commodities go; like I cut the cable. No more TV!! I was at a point of letting the water or the light go!! I thought about showering and blow drying my hair at the gym. I even call the agency for abuse women, not because I was being physically abuse but when I was feeling powerless they were willing to give me the mental support I need to go thru this. They also provide shelter if you need one for you and your baby if you need to start shacking things off. Ask about legal separation and how it works!

The hard part for me is that my husband is good in any other way…. “So I think”…loving father, handy around the house, attractive and well spoken. What I hate is that he is a Professional job hunter. His career has not taken off in 6 years and his drive to go out there and get the bills paid does not seem strong. His lack acknowledgement of the stress he has caused and the lack providing some kind of security for his family especially for his adored son has turned me off. Is 6 years not long enough? He could have been a doctor by now if he wanted to?
Best of luck to you….Keep your self informed and find Creative ways to shake his comfortable world…It is not fun but you must cut the sucking larvae before it consumes you!….

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 6:45pm

Well, don't take this the wrong way, but your post made me feel better. Just knowing that other people are dealing with the same crap. I just can't believe the situation I'm in.

My husband isn't a stay at home dad. We both work,
and in fact he is gone 13, 14 hours a day, and all childcare duties are mine even though I work full time. But he doesn't bring a dime home b/c he has no concept of running a business.

How old is your son? My daughter is 10 months. At least she has no idea what is going on, and my hope is that when she does start getting a clue, we will be long divorced and hopefully in a healthy co-parenting routine.

I have realized that I do need to make his life miserable. We got in a very bad fight the other night, and frankly I think it helped. I guess I just need to continue yelling at him like a crazy maniac.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 11:17pm
HI there.... your best course of action will be to talk to an attorney FIRST before you do anything toward getting him out.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 9:53am

Karen's advice was perfect. Do not make a move without consulting an attorney. They can advise you of your rights. As far as I know, many states have provisions for moving one party out of the home during divorce proceedings.


Aside from that, SO many of us here can relate to how you feel. I also worked full-time, took online classes, worked overtime, yet was responsible for 95% of the housework, yardwork, childcare, etc. So you are not alone. Good luck with your consultation!