Can I make him get his letter???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Can I make him get his letter???
6
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 8:45pm

My ex has his CS payment taken directly out of his paycheck. However, in our divorce agreement, it states that we will split any other added expenses (other than basic living expenses). Despite my very well tuned frugal skills, I spent a small fortune getting the kids back to school clothing, plus I've had other expenses come up such as a visit to the 24 hour clinic and next month I'll be able to put the kids on my health insurance. My ex has been sooooo unreliable with that money. I started to wonder if it was because I would e-mail him each time I bought anything so I decided to write a letter that broke it all down in black and white. I sent it certified because he often claims he doesn't get the e-mails I send. My problem now is that the USPO tried to deliver it four days ago, but he wasn't there and he still hasn't claimed it. If he doesn't get it and it gets returned, how do I make sure he gets the paperwork? I'd have my attorney do it, but she did my divorce for free and when I've asked her questions now that it's done she seems less than enthusiastic about helping. Any advice???

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 8:57pm

Gah! I wish I had the answer for you. I've been dealing with this myself, and other than walking up to him and putting it in his hand, I don't know what to do either. I think we need Karen. She always has great suggestions.

(I know this wasn't helpful, but I've been fuming all weekend about STBX ignoring me the last several days while I pretty much BEG him via email for the SEPTEMBER child support and medical bills I paid for back in MAY, so I feel for you in your frustration.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:10pm

Besides sending it regular and certified mail, what about sending an email detailing the stuff and have a "Read receipt" on it? I can do this from my work email (not sure about hotmail). The other thing--send an email detailing the stuff then finish the email putting a silly question in there that will make him respond (ie. The kids want to know what you would like for Christmas (make the question about him--they're self centered enough to respond ;) )....when he responds: THAT is your proof he got the email.....

Or what about faxing it?

Other than that, I'm out of options!!

How are things going for you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2006
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:30pm
Hi. New to the boards. Just a quick suggestion/ question. Can you and or have you considered having it delivered certified to his place of work? Might there be someone there to receive in his absence to do so? May PO him. But then again may be enough of an annoyance for him to stop ignoring your more normal means of communication. Just a thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 11:25pm
Be careful with sending to work. My X fired the employee who signed for it. If one's X is an employee, how will the boss react to the whole personal life intruding on work issue? I send reg mail and email, and yes, always include something he'll be tempted to respond to thereby proving he got it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 5:27am
You can't make anyone accept a certified letter. Usually it isn't something you want so you ignore it until it goes away. At least with email you an guess that he read them. How do you get him to pay? You may not be able to without taking him back to court. You could send a copy of the bills with the kids, or deliver them yourself. It's not going to be easy. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 12:03pm

You probably lost on this one. Even if you take him to court, there won't be a good remedy. That is to say you will have a very difficult time codifiying an agreement that is enforceable.

Child support can be easily codified and implemented.

"Expenses" and their payment can be endlessly debated

If you go to court, you expose yourself (and children) to a very unpleasant experience. Not to mention the allegations that can be made -- your ex may have a chance to argue that you are incompetently managing the child support money.

If the child support payments were established to state guidelines, I doubt you have any viable path to financial relief. (You could win a court case, but the expenses involved would exceed the money you are awarded.)

If your child support payments are lower than the state guidelines, the agency that enforces payment may provide relief by petitioning for state guideline amounts.