Can the kids be this OK?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Can the kids be this OK?
5
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 2:37pm
My divorce is not final. My husband ha sbeen out of th ehouse since 8/15. My biggest fear was messing up the kids. They seem so ok with it all. I am shocked to say the least. They do have a good relationship with him. They have stayed over already. Can they really be this ok? I am afraid of any feelings they are not dealing with. They did react when we told them. LOts of tears and hugs. I am just amazed out how they seem totally ok. Anyone else's kids Ok from the get go?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 4:40pm

betrayed131...

PG knows you (and a few other ivillagers) will find this hard to believe....BUT A DEFINITE DECISION & TIME FRAME FOR A DIVORCE IS OFTEN MORE APPEALING TO CHILDREN---THAN LISTENING TO MOM & DAD ARGUE!

Call it 'short attention span' or "I've heard this song too many times", but most children (or adolescents) reach a point where they just DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THE "BEING MISERABLE WITH MY PARENTS" bit!

So when one parent moves out or decides to 'be missing' instead of being around the other...the kids are ectastic!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 5:37pm
we never argued..we did sleep separately but always were together re the kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 6:08pm
You should watch for signs that they have questions, need to talk, need reassurance, etc.,

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 6:38am

ABSOLUTELY!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 8:11am

I have a 6 year old and an almost 2 year old with XH. My daughter was not born yet when my H left and my son was 4, almost 5.


My son took it hard only when we fought or I was upset about it. He would get upset with me.


I am not saying that you all have to hide your feelings about the subject ( nor is that healthy ) but a certain level of normalcy and routine can certainly help the situation.


I have had one day, about a year and a half after my H left that my son had a "bad day" where I actually had to keep him home from school because he and I were talking about why he was so upset. He finally opened up to me and we both cried together.


If and when that happens, I suggest reminding