Can you out grow your spouse?
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|Sat, 03-01-2014 - 9:48pm|
Hi Ladies. I'm glad to find a community in which I can find comfort in women that are going/have gone through something similar.
My husband and I have been married for just about four years. We are both in our late 20's. We met after we both got out of long-term relationships. We connected instantly and eventually ended up married and living together six months later. We've gone through our share of struggles, he had alcohol issues (that I didn't know about before we got married. He was good at hiding it). He is clean and sober going on two years now and we even went through a brief period of separation. Anyway, we've done our share of couples counseling and have gotten to a good place. That being said, I just don't feel connected to him any longer as a lover and partner. He is a wonderful person and I love him, but I feel like I've outgrown him. I graduated college right before we married and he just graduated this year. I've been the main breadwinner for most of our marriage and I feel like I've put a lot of my goals (traveling, starting a family, buying a home, etc.) on hold so he can finish school and pursue his passions. He is very emotional and dependent on me for his happiness, whereas I am more independent and social. If I leave the house for a brief time or when I'm at work, he'll call me and tell me he misses me constantly. I've really discovered and found myself in the last year since I've gone to counseling for some personal traumas from the past and I feel like I'm a butterfly that has finally emerged from its cocoon (as corny as it sounds). I'm at a real crossroads. I want to feel equal and challenged in a relationship and right now. I feel like we've done our part for each other and have really helped each other grow out of some difficulties, but beyond that... I just don't feel anything anymore. I feel like I'm acting and inside, I feel unhappy. If I do something, I feel like he'll blame himself and try to do something like hurt himself or not be able to deal with the pain. His family is absolutely wonderful and I would hate to dissappoint them. I just don't want to keep living like this... I feel like there's something more for me out there and I'm letting the days pass as I feel unhappy.
Phew. Anyways, have any of you experienced this? What did you do? I'm really confused here.