Can you stay friendds with your ex?
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Can you stay friendds with your ex?
| Fri, 06-30-2006 - 1:03pm |
Can you? How do you? Adny tips or advice.
What about when you do not have to (we don't ahve kids)
| Fri, 06-30-2006 - 1:03pm |
Can you? How do you? Adny tips or advice.
What about when you do not have to (we don't ahve kids)
Hugs, Brenda
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
i have two exHs....
ex number 1 and father of my DS: I wouldhave liked to remain 'in contact' with him (not friend) for the sake of our son. but he - for reasons of his own - has cut off all contact with me, with DS, with hi own family (mother, siblins, etc). i honestly don't even know if he is still alive.
ex number 2 - i have no desire to ever see him again, ever. he is a horrible person, there is nothing about him that i would consider 'friend-worthy'. he is abusive, manipulative, he is a pathological liar, he takes advantage of people. he is not the kind of person that i would choose as a friend. i am sure that he would like to remain incontact, he did try , a lot , at the beginning, but i just refused to talk to him, asnwer his calls, respond to his messages, so thankfully we have nooooo contact.
I suppose that the question is why do you want to remain in contact? i mean, if this is someone you feel you want to be friends with, then why are you getting divorced? I think that it can be sticky. if one of you still wants to remain married and then sex enters the situaiton, then what do you do? it can be painful.
Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange...
thanks for all of the replys
my ex and I have a good relationship, we had a good marriage. he decided after a I was in a near fatal accident that he had regrets about a previous relationship and he left me for the mother of his child (his high school sweetheart).
we get along great and have a wonderful time together and I am still close to his son, but when i hear things about him moving on (she divorced her husband as well and they are talking marriage) then it hurts badly.
I get over it and ultimately I love them (my ex and his son) and I want to be part of their lives. I tend to be more forgiving and more patient because of my accident so I also have that factor playing in as well.
sometimes its just hard and I get mad and upset and throw a fit, and I know that is not mature and I can't help it. he thinks I over-react, I think its at least somewhat normal.
But in the end he understands and ultimately if we had to give up out friendship, I dont know if either of us could. so I need to find a healthier way of dealing with the pain.
Well, right new in the VERY early stages of our divorce, I'd have to stay NO!
Maybe once some of this hurt, anger and bitterness lets up a little, "maybe"? I don't know though, I'm pretty stubborn, LOL!
Sometimes it's hard to even be civil because of the kids, but I manage for them.
As for what I do when he has the kids, I'll be finding out this weekend! It's his first turn to take them and my first turn to be alone without them! Plus, it would have been our 17th wedding anniversary so I'm not really sure how I'm going to react to being alone.
Hugs to all!
Jenn
Jennifer
Proud Mom of Travis (15) and Mandi (10)
and our pets, Sully the Dog and Till