Can't afford to live apart!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Can't afford to live apart!
12
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 10:11pm

Has anyone had the problem of not being able to afford living apart? We want a divorce, but my STBX has no place to move to, and he can't afford an apartment of his own. We are living in an apartment now with our two children. We have been living like roomates for years now anyway, so we are thinking of just getting the divorce and still living together until our financial options change (that could be a year or two!)
What the heck do I do???

TIA,

Robyn

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 7:25am

I have no idea, but I wanted to tell you that i read your post and I hope you find a way to work it out.

Kate

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 8:58am

Thanks for the kind words Kate! I can use them right now!

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 9:09am

I lived with my then-STBX while we were divorcing until our house sold... but there was a pretty immediate end in sight because once we sold our house, we had the equity to pay off joint debt and move to our own places.... and all of that happened before our divorce was finalized.


Maybe your husband can look for a roommate to share rent.... or move in with a family member????


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 12:42pm
It depends on the state, too - in my state, you have to be separated for at least a year (if you have kids, 6 months no kids) and have NO COHABITATION during that year. The attorney I talked to said that cohabitation was more than just having sex (as I had previously thought) - you must interact as little as possible, which is more difficult when you have kids together, and which is doubly difficult if you live in a high cost of living area, like we do, where one bedroom apartments generally START at $1200 - $1300!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 12:54pm
That is true... however, if both parties are in agreement that a situation is "best"... then... sometimes we have to get creative with the technicalities of the "law"... and I certainly can't see "limited contact" that interferes with positive co-parenting.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 1:49pm
We are in the same boat right now. My STBX is living with his Mom right now and he is here on the weekends. He can't afford to have a place on his own. I don't even know how he is going to do it after we are divorce since we have 5 kids plus alimony. Not to mention we will have to trade cars because he drives a

Brittany "MomtofiveDrews"

Kiana "Hooprincess" 13 yrs old

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 3:51pm
I really feel for you. I am the same situation. My STBX and I just bought a house in May and our market has been on the "decline" ever since (go figure), so to get rid of it will cost us more than it's worth. It takes both of our paychecks to make ends meet as it is, and I just don't know what to do. Luckily he has been working out of town Monday through Friday and so I just have to deal with the weekends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 6:23pm
That's another one of our problems is the housing prices and sales going down. We've tried to sell our house twice with no such luck. We are going to try and hang on to it for a year to see if it turns around. Also for the kids we've already started school here. I would hate to move them to another school to make new friends on top of all of this going on.

Brittany (Mom2FiveDrews)


Kiana "The Basketball Star" 11 years old


Vanessa & Jazmine "The Twins" 9 years old


Olivia "The Princess" 3 years old


Isaac "The Prince"

Brittany "MomtofiveDrews"

Kiana "Hooprincess" 13 yrs old

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 7:45pm
We're doing the same. We don't want the kids to change schools and the housing market is slow so I'm going to try to wait it out. STBX stays with a family member when he's in town. It's too bad they can't just evaporate when they become a bigger liability than asset. :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 8:22pm

Robyn,

I live w/STBX and we are working the living part out well, better than when we were married. It has been a battle, but so far so good since we made some rules. Neither one of can afford to live apart. If your relationship is friendly it may work for awhile until you can get on your feet. Not everyone is having a "friendly" divorce though. IT isnt easy, but for our kids we are doing OK. I know alot of ppl in our situation, but they are in nasty divorces and it is stressful. Hopefully all will work out for you.

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