Can't Decorate

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2002
Can't Decorate
5
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 1:59am

So

Anne
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 7:48am
I feel your pain my old wedding anniversary was the 20th so I wind up feeling funky this time of year...like you it was better the marriage ended...my ex cheated so I threw out anything related to wedding glad I did in end...take it slowly even if you have to go minute by minute or hour by hour...the "first" holidays were hard, and I tried to do something on each that was completely different than what I "would've" been doing...each one will get a little easier even if you can think that way now...you will get through...surround yourself with those people that really do love you...allow them to help you get through this...you aren't alone...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 12:07pm

Do you have kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 4:08pm

I burned most of my wedding stuff--it was very cathartic;)

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 4:18pm
What a creative and CONstructive way to "recycle" a wedding gown! I bet those who bought those angels never knew that it was a wedding gown!
Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 10:21am

Hi,

Divorce is a loss. We grieve losses in different ways and because of different triggers. Getting out those Christmas decorations was a reminder of what was and it sparked fresh grief. There will be plenty of those triggers in the coming months and years. Take them as they come. Allow yourself to grieve that loss and let it go. Other Christmases will come and these will be what you make them.

As for what to do with wedding things: that too is entirely up to you and in your own time. You can shove the box right back into the closet and let it sit there for now. Eventually, when you reach a different place in your grief you can deal with it much better. It took me 15 years to get rid of my old wedding band set. I still have my dress but mostly because I made it and it means a lot to me despite the fact the marriage has been over for nearly 15 years now. I will probably offer it to a neice or other female family member who wants a "vintage" gown for her day.

Good luck and remember: take one day at a time. This is a process not a single event. :)