Can't we have one peaceful weekend???
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| Mon, 06-05-2006 - 11:28am |
My husband and I installed new carpeting in our new great room over the weekend. It rained hard over the weekend, so we decided to work inside. My DS(12) decided he would help us. (Which is pretty much a miracle!) Well, yesterday he was using the utility knife (against my better judgment) and he slipped and cut himself on the knuckle. I looked at-he had grazed the skin and it was only about ¼” long. I told him to go in the house, clean it up and put peroxide on it.
About 5 minutes later my DS(16) came out and told me he needed stiches. I told her no he did not. She then gets on the phone, calls her father and tells him I am not taking care of her brother-that I am more interested in working on our room. While she was talking to him I went to check on my son. I cleaned his cut some more and bandaged it. I was not bleeding at all at that point. My daughter handed me the phone and said “Daddy wants to talk with you”. I really don’t want to talk with him about anything-EVER. But it was about the kids. He asked me about what happened. I told him and I also told him if I felt he needed medical attention I would have taken him the hospital immediately (as I had done before).
My husband and daughter got into an argument while I was on the phone with my ex. I think it is great she was so concerned about her brother, but she should not have tried to go around my decision-my husband told her so. They were calling each other names (juvenile, I know) and my ex heard it. He then threatened to take action if I didn’t make my husband stop.
I am angry because the whole thing could have been avoided. All my ex should have done is supported my decision (YA RIGHT!) and told my daughter it was my decision whether or not her brother needed medical attention. HELLO…I took care of the kids for 15 years by myself while he traveled all over the world (not to mention the 2 years since we divorced). I think I am capable of making a sound decision!

Isn't life fun!... It's pretty clear that we can't expect your EX to act appropriately (by just listening to your daughter, then telling her that he needed to talk to you WITHOUT saying anything to her except "thank you for letting me know").
As for your husband and your daughter.... well, as Dr. Phil would suggest... he needs to be your advocate and confidant... but, especially when we're dealing with teens... he's GOT to stay out of the discipline/reprimand side of things and leave that entirely to you.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Its too bad that your daughter is playing the pit one parent against another game. *sigh*
You did the right thing.
Oh... I wanted to add, too, that when my EX SO lived with me... and his DS.... things did generally go better when I left ALL of the discipline and big discussions to his dad.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thanks.
My husband usually lets me handle the discipline, but my DD was being mouthy and extremely disrespectful towards me. THAT my husband will not tolerate from either of my kids. His children are young (6 & 4) so he has not been exposed to teenagers yet.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~