change in daycare time effects stbx p/u?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
change in daycare time effects stbx p/u?
1
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 3:10pm
On Friday the daycare told me starting Monday the time the kids can be there is changing. The state pays my child care and tells me how long they can be there. I was suppose to find a job with in two weeks of em starting to pay. They were letting the kids stay tell 6:30. I have been unable to get hired.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 4:05pm

Jennifer, I think your best relief is to try to stop fixating yourself on your sbtx. Forget him, you really seem to be too focused on him, what he's doing or not doing, and battling him about it. You are initiating too much contact, and perpetuating your own hurt. Do what is best for your kids, which includes becoming emotionally healthy. Concentrate on your priorities that are necessary to remove yourself from being dependent in any way on him. I know it's hard. I know it really stinks. But, the only way you'll heal is to let the wound close.

If you're not having luck finding permanent work, go to a temporary agency and have them hook you up with some assignments. Many companies hire temps that impress them. Generating income will improve your confidence.

Don't argue with your sbtx about his time with the kids, get an agreement in writing, make it legal, and stick to it. You need to use a support network that doesn't include your husband. Whether the amount of time or effort he puts in with them is right or wrong, you cannot keep fixating on it and arguing with him about it isn't going to change it. It is what it is, and you just need to do all you can to be the best parent YOU can be.

If you need to look for a car on the weekend he has them, or ask someone else to watch them for you on a day he doesn't, I'm sure you can make it work - if you really want to.

Be strong, distance yourself from him.