Changing name?
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Changing name?
| Sun, 07-08-2007 - 7:33pm |
As a newbie I would appreciate any input that I receive here. Of the many questions I'm facing now the one I'd like some input on is changing back to my maiden name. I don't have any children, so that isn't an issue. I am a working professional, so there may be some minor inconvenience to changing my name back. I'm just feeling like I need to change back as part of reclaiming my identity. Any advice or experiences I can learn from? Thanks so much.

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Exactly! And, as others have pointed out, taking back your maiden name is, in a way, reclaiming yourself.
I've heard it's easier to do *during* the divorce, but I'm wondering just how much easier... And I'm trying to make a list of all the places my name would have to be changed.
Then again, my desire to be as free from my STBX is so strong, I'm not sure it really matters how much trouble it may be! LOL!
Hello! I asked this question a few days ago and almost all said to do what I was most comfortable with. I completely understand the 'identity' issue. Do you feel as if you have only been known as Mrs. so n so and the only way to reclaim yourself is to become Ms. so n so? I do.
My mother in law is helping me pay for grad school so I am hesitating BUT, I don't want my married name on my degree - as there was no support from ex to return and finish.
The hassle is the legal and financial. As for a profession, send out simple cards announcing your return to your own name and that all other aspects of your professional career will remain unchanged.
Good luck on whatever you decide.
if i were in your shoes. i would definatly be changing my name back.
however... i have my son & i want to keep the same last name as him. if i ever do re marry. i will probably end up keeping the same name & hyphonating (sp) it or something.
thats just me though.
oh... also if my ex would let me change my son's name to my maiden name... i would do it in a heart beat. but he won't :o(
I decided to go back to my maiden name during the 90 day waiting period, told my lawyer, and the paperwork was drawn up (in PA it's ONE piece of paper!). The paper was then signed by the judge the same day the divorce was finalized and all I did then was go the to Social Security office and make it official with the government (IRS included). Changing it at work, on bills, on loans, and on all other documents was surprisingly easy but it was a little time consuming.
Now... my XH and I did not have children and basically I changed my name in order to hurt him... not for any reclamation of my identity... and out of all that happened between us during and after the divorce that is the one regret I have... So think long and hard about it because you can reclaim your identity regardless of what your last name is...
Ali
"So think long and hard about it because you can reclaim your identity regardless of what your last name is..."
I totally agree with that! I just feel that taking my maiden name back is one more way of moving into this new phase of my life, kwim? I will be who am I no matter what name I use.
I am actually from PA (moved to NJ just under a year ago), so that is where the divorce is taking place, so it's nice to know it was a simple, one-page deal!
Question: When you say you went to the social security office, were you able to notify the IRS through them as well? (That's the way it sounded in your post, but am I just using wishful thinking? LOL!)
Do you regret changing your name or the fact that you did it to hurt your ex? (Hugs to you in either case!)
Thanks for your input and the information!!
~Stacey
I'll answer your second question first... I regret doing it for a really petty reason. I should have put more thought into why I wanted to change it rather then just trying to cause him pain. I'm relatively ok with it now but there is a part of me that wishes I would have just left it alone... besides, I used his name for half my life so changing to my maiden name took some adjusting to and to be honest, I had my own identity when I was married, that was never in doubt for me.
When I filed the paperwork with the SS office, because they of course have a form you need to fill out, I asked about contacting the IRS and she said once it was filed with the SS Administration that it would be changed with the IRS as well. Initially I was suspect to believe that however a few weeks later I received a letter from the IRS indicating my name change.
And while we all seem to agree that changing from your married name to your maiden name is a good way to reclaim your identity it is also something to put more thought into then just a knee jerk reaction to whatever emotion you feel towards your XH. In my case, I was not the one that wanted the divorce so the sadness, bitterness, and all the pain I was feeling help spur me into a choice I didn't completely think through.
Ali
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