Child Drop Off Question/Poll
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| Mon, 07-04-2005 - 1:46am |
I have a question for everyone and I am hoping you answer my Poll below this posting. For 4 years my ex husband dropped off our son to me at my house after his visitations. 4 years doing this and he never complained. Then he gets a new girlfriend who has kids of her own from her previous relationships (yes, relationshipS as in plural, not singular - she actually has 3 kids from two different guys. 2 from an ex husband and 1 from an ex boyfriend) and they all move in with my ex. Then all of a sudden him dropping our son off at my house became a problem because he said he had to be home at a certain time for his girlfriend's exes to drop off her kids while she is at work. As if this is my problem. Anywho, so then he proceeds to tell me that every divorced couple he knows (mainly referring to his girlfriend and her exes) meet at a halfway point to drop off the kids, they don't take the kids all the way home like he does, and that he wants to start meeting at a halfway point. Don't mind that one of his girlfriend's exes lives only an exit away from them. Well how convenient for her. But I don't exactly live an exit away from my ex. We live almost 40 minutes away from each other. So what I want to know is does anyone else have this dilemma? Does your ex bring your kid(s) all the way home after visitation or do you guys meet halfway??? I mean on one hand I feel obligated, like it's only fair we meet halfway. But then on the other hand, I don't feel it's my fault he moved so far away and that he has to be back at in his area at a certain time to be there for her kids....all that is NOT my problem, not to mention HIS son (flesh and blood) should come first, not hers... so why should I accommodate him? I'm not a mean, spiteful person nor do I like to fight with him, but seriously, I feel I have to turn my whole schedule around because of his girlfriend and her kids--a schedule we had for 4 years, undisturbed. Up until she and her kids came along.
Edited 7/4/2005 1:53 am ET ET by sdnative1973
Edited 7/4/2005 1:54 am ET ET by sdnative1973

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
What about a different time so that he can come there and still make it back? I think meeting half way is best when the parents can't agree on an alternative arrangement. We usually try not to see each other at all, so I just drop dd's back off with her at school on Friday mornings and he picks her up after school, and then we reverse it the following Friday. We also usually see dd one night when she's with the other parent (we refer to this as dinner night, so dd doesn't have to go a whole week not seeing one of us) and on those nights we sometimes meet half way or sometimes drive all the way. It depends on where each of us is, if meeting half way is really inconvenient for him, I'll drive her all the way and he returns the courtesy.
I agree if he was the one that moved then he could reasonably be expected to do more of the driving, but he has the right to have a life too and that might mean a new wife/gf and step children. Meeting half way isn't just to make it more convenient for him, it's also because you are both responsible to make sure the children get time with both their parents.