child endangerment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
child endangerment?
5
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 1:40pm


Okay, I know that the divorce papers state that he is responsible for all day to day decisions while the children are in his care but I have reached the point where after the kids have been with him for four weeks that I just don't know what else to do.

For starters as I have written here a couple of weeks ago, he joined a singles site and the picture he put on his profile has him and the kids with our daughter wearing her school sweatshirt. Then this weekend I found out that my 7-year-old son has been playing HALO on the x-box since he got to his dads. The final straw for me was when my 12 year-old daughter called me frantically at work because she was to be staying at home alone in his apartment all day in Dallas and was locked out and did not have a contact number for her dad while he is at work (not with her or in the apartment). I don't know what to do, I can't spend all my time worrying about the kids, I don't want to make the situation any more nasty than it already is but I have to do what is necessary to protect my kids.

Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this? Any advice on what I should do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 1:56pm

Well, I have been there and done that!!
I've dealt with the same thing only my daughter is 11 and he leaves her home alone. He dropped her off at a water slide alone, locks her out of the house for discipline purposes, etc. My son has had 3 sunburns in the past 20 months, had a guash on his chin due to dad doing donuts in the boat (and then told my 4 yo, not to tell mommy how it happened), lets him ride on the 4 wheeler with no helmet, ect......
I can totally feel where you are coming from. I live with fear on the weekends that my children are with him.

We have been building a case. Because of his lying, we put in the paperwork that contact is to be done via email (unless an emergency). I will email him about issues and he responds back. My lawyer and I have decided if he locks her out again we will go to court and see what happens. Unfortuneately, these cases are hard to deal with. My daughter hates to go with her father, but the courts here don't like to let children choose. So she has to go. It kills me to force her to go, and he won't give up the visitation because of control and $$$$$!!!

Document everything. See if you can get email exchange in your court agreement.
Hang in there!! It's nerve wracking for sure!!
HUGS!!

Amie Choiniere Office Manager~Mom~Domestic Goddess~Student~Wine Lover~Girlfriend~Gardener~Decorator~Vinyl Wall Lettering Queen!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 9:21pm
I'm in the process of building a case as well. My son is only 17 months old and isn't talking yet ( a whole other issue). He holds in his poop when with dad. STBX has kept him in hotels overnight and I have had problems with him driving with the car seat facing the wrong way. I love the MYspace page he set up and kept putting pictures on. So inappropriate! I don't have enought yet. Seemingly if he isnt passed out on the couch with a needle hanging out of his arm it's not endangerment. No justice! I email everything and as I have AOL I hit the return reciet button. Then I save everything. That is all you can do and just follow your atty's advice. So unfair to you and your children. Sometimes I feel like "how did it come to this?". Alas here we are. Prayers to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 9:43am
Yes, it is tough!!!!
I've been dealing with it for 2 years now. All I can do is pray that nothing bad happens to my children.
Amie Choiniere Office Manager~Mom~Domestic Goddess~Student~Wine Lover~Girlfriend~Gardener~Decorator~Vinyl Wall Lettering Queen!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 12:40pm
And do you ever feel like "what happened to the man I married?". I never thought him capeable of such cruelty. I feel like a fool.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 2:52pm
Yes, and I also feel angry that anyone could do this to their children and not think about their actions and the consequences that could happen!!
Amie Choiniere Office Manager~Mom~Domestic Goddess~Student~Wine Lover~Girlfriend~Gardener~Decorator~Vinyl Wall Lettering Queen!!