Child Support Question...
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| Mon, 06-02-2008 - 11:04am |
I am new to this board. I was on the betrayed spouse board, but now I am seperated. My story is VERY long and confusing and don't really want to go into all of it as it upsets me everytime! We have 2 kids - Daughter is 9 (10 in August) and Son just turned 12.
I have been married 13 years. We seperated Feb. 6th of this year and still lived in the same house until April 1st. At that time, we both had to move as the mortgage crisis hit us. I moved in with my parents and he with his. He does a really good job on taking the kids. I work full time and go to nursing school. He has the kids Tuesday and Thursday nights and every other weekend. On Sunday nights, we split the kids (he takes son one Sunday and I take daughter, then the next Sunday we switch them). We do this so they each get one on one time with each parent and they get away from each other. They really seem to enjoy this.
Anyway, he makes more than twice as me and feels he shouldn't pay child support since he takes the kids so much. He says he pays for them when he has them and I pay for them when I have them and then anything mutual is split 50/50. I don't agree with this since he makes more than twice as much as me (plus he recently received a promotion and won't tell me how much he makes now). Well, In my state I can file for child support without having to file divorce. I filled the paperwork out and based on what he used to make, he should still be paying child support, not a whole lot, but some. My question is, do I file this paperwork? If so, do I tell him ahead of time or just file. He really doesn't seem to want to discuss money with me and I have given him many chances to talk about it, but it never happens. A friend I go to school with works for the child support division and can push my paperwork thru fast. I am also getting ready to move to a place of my own (sanity reasons for myself and kids).
Like I said, he does take them a lot, but I still do all their laundry (even from when they go to his house, they bring their dirty clothes home), I get them on the bus every morning, my mom and dad "deal" with them everyday after school (even when it's his night) and I have to do the dr appts and all the other "parent" stuff.
Guess I am just looking for a little feedback.

File the paper work now!!!!!! I dont know how it is where ever you live but in VA its not retro-active, only goes based on the date you file. Fill out what you know they will do the rest, he'll have to show proof to them, they will calcuate and you'll get your money.
Remember there are key words here:
They live with you, you are the "Custodial Parent" He is the "Non Custodial Parent" The time he spends with them is "Visitation". Regardless if he sees them every other weekend or 3 nights a week and rotating weekends, you are still the one they live with, you are the one that is providing a home for them the majority of the time.
Child Support is to make the other parent financially responsible, this should go without fight or contest. There are laws that seperate "visitation" and "Child Support", you cant withhold visitation if he doesnt pay, just as he has to pay whether or not he sees them.
In VA it doesnt matter where you live its based on income and health insurance and child care expenses, such as daycare, they dont care if you dont have any money, you still have to pay, just as they dont care if you have no bills, its based on the gross income.
Thank you both!
I did file the paperwork yesterday. I am in MO and go to school with a girl who works for the Child Support Division. From what I understand, it is retro here, but it may just be when there is a court order. I am doing this on my own and it's not costing me anything. I don't have the money to file for divorce right now, so I filed for the support first.
I am moving out of my parents. A friend has a rental house and they are in the process of evicting their current renters out. They are supposed to be out by tomorrow, but not looking like they will be, so it could be another 30 days as they will be taking them to court. This may help me save up a little more money. I'm getting nervous about moving out. I have never really lived on my own. I married him at 19. He has traveled, so I have stayed MANY nights home alone, just not lived alone.
Well, time will tell. Not sure what is going to happen now! Thank you, again!
Troubled -
I'm from MO too and know what you're going through.
Oh, if only it were as simple as I have them half the time and you have them half the time.
Who buys clothes and shoes?
Who makes doctor, dental, orthodontist, eye exam, ya ya ya appointments and takes them to those?
Who pays school fees and school related things?
Who who who????......
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~