child support question

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
child support question
3
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 10:53pm
Hi all,
Need some advise and maybe some support. Don't know if you all remember me but my divorce was final last January. I was married far to long to a controlling, abusive man.
Well he has tried everything he can to get me to "give" him back $$. Everything from telling me that a golf trip for him and son would cost me $100.00. He told me it was for the entry fee but i found out that the entry fee was only $70.00, turns out i ended up paying for their motel room. I was under the assumption that they would be staying with family as always.
So now he wants to take my son upnorth for a snomobile trip btw the holidays and says he needs $$.This from a man who takes volintary layoffs at his job and has alway bought himself anything he wants.
I talked to my son, he is 18, and told him that the child support $ is for food, clothes and shelter while he lives with me. That I don't want to be the bad guy but that I feel that he is tring to take advantage of me and I won't have it.
So when I tell xh that I won't pay for his recreation, he gets all snotty and says ok, if that's the way you want to play! He claims he has only been fair, NOT! If you all remember he tried to drain the savings accounts to pay for repairs on the house while we were in the middle of the divorce! He dosen't know the meaning of FAIR!!
So what do you all think? He wants me to give him back a weeks worth of child support to pay for my son's gas, and dinners!!
Any advise or support will be greatly appreciated!
Thanks for letting me rant! Other than that - single life is great without him!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 4:32am
I'm very curious on what planet this man is originally from!!?? I agree with you and would absolutely NOT put up with that! He is a grown man and there is no logical reason on THIS planet that you should feel you need to give him money for recreational activities with your son. If he can plan these activities then he should be able to pay for them. If not, then maybe he needs to not go on trips like this until he can afford it and maybe needs to be on a budget. Sounds to me like he has a real chip on his shoulders and he needs to either get over it or realize this isn't your problem. My ex tried pulling that crap with me as well. According to him, he is "broke" because of child support. That's BRILLIANT considering I haven't seen child support in almost 8 months! He just doesn't want to pay and tries to guilt me into stopping the child support which I WON'T do. Sounds to me like your ex needs to grow up and take responsibility for himself. Just my opinion!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 10:22pm
Thanks,
Sometimes i slip back into my victim thinking that this is the way all xh act! No, mostly just this one. I know he still trys to play me and make me feel like it's all my fault that our son won't be going up north. But i have learned to stick to my guns and eventually he backs off saying that he can't believe how strong i've become! Duh!! He has no idea!!!!
Thanks again for the advise and support!
e
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 11:21pm
You're doing a great job! Take care!