Clingy
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Clingy
| Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:08am |
My divorce was final in Jan. ex moved out summer 2005. He is still very much involved with the kids etc..My youngest is 10. She is very close with me, where my older child is closer with Dad. I usually take a long weekend trip once a year. Sort of a reunion of friends.
I am thinking of not going this year because my youngest is showing signs that she will be stressed worrying while I am gone. We also did have a talk about it. Some say go, to show her nothing will happen to me, and others say she needs me and just skip it this year. I am leaning towards skip it for this year until she has a better comfort level. I wouldn't be going until Fall 2006 but I usually make my plans soon. Any thoughts?
I am thinking of not going this year because my youngest is showing signs that she will be stressed worrying while I am gone. We also did have a talk about it. Some say go, to show her nothing will happen to me, and others say she needs me and just skip it this year. I am leaning towards skip it for this year until she has a better comfort level. I wouldn't be going until Fall 2006 but I usually make my plans soon. Any thoughts?

betrayed131...
Pianoguy wonders if there's another family member (grandma, aunt, or sister) or a close friend whom you can ask to care for the 'youngest member' of your family while you're away?
Perhaps it'll bring her (and YOU) a little peace of mind?
Pianoguy
Go. My personal opinion (which I think is what was asked) is that children cannot run their parents lives. They do better when things go on as normal and I would assume your daughter would stay with her father. She may be closer to you but my guess is she loves her dad too.
You also deserve to have some fun and be a happy balanced mom.
Good Luck!
You should go. I have a 10 year old son myself. Before my STBX and I separated, I had made plans to go on a vacation with my sister. I ended up going after all, and had a wonderful time. I felt amazingly refreshed and happy when I came back. It was good for me, which in turn was good for my son.
It's only a few days. She'll be just fine.
I guess it's just difficult for me to relate. I adore my son and I think we are pretty tight. I am pretty much all he's got since his dad doesn't see him that much anymore. For me, the opportunity to get away for that short period of time and recharge would be God sent. I don't typically feel any guilt when I take a short trip without him. He usually has a good time where he's at and I come back ready to rock and roll into our hectic schedule.
I hope you go but if you are not going to enjoy yourself it would be kind of pointless. If I wasn't going to have fun because of the worry and guilt, I would stay home.
I would skip it this year unless you feel like you need to go emotionally to such a degree that it would make you less able to parent if you don't.
Is it possible to take her (did you say your youngest was a girl? I have girls; I might just assume that) or would that defeat the purpose of going?
I think s/he needs her/his feelings confirmed right now and you don't want to risk damaging the bond you have to the child with whom you are closest.
Ahhhh.... sometimes learning life's lessons isn't always easy.
I say go.... assure your babe that this is something that you do... "mom time" to refresh yourself... a change of pace... and that you'll be back in no time.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
My oldest (a girl) is 10 and we're very close. That said, I feel that you should go on your trip. You would be teaching your daughter some important lessons in life. Tell her that mommy needs to have friends (like she does) and that some of them live elsewhere and you need to visit. Talk about the value of friendships and how they help us through difficult times (divorce!). Reassure her that if there is an emergency, you will return, but remind her that she is safe with her father. Perhaps you could leave her with something of yours that is meaningful and she can hold (I draw a picture). Be firm and reassuring. For gods sake, it's only a few days. Are you supposed to be shackeled to your kids? Also, I would NOT bring her with you on a WOMEN'S trip. Is there a Banana Splits program in her school, YMCA or town? It's a support group for kids whose parents are divorced and it's really good. She might be worried something is going to happen to you, and it might help if she shared these feeling with someone other than you. Pack your bags. Go. She'll be fine at dad's- they might tighten their bond during that time!
Laura