Communicating with STBX about visitation
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| Tue, 02-13-2007 - 11:41am |
Today at work (we work together) my STBX states "I wish you would give me more notice about the kids staying at the house instead of packing their suitcase and telling me the morning of". I'm floored. I called him Sunday night - left a vm - asking "do you want the kids to stay over on Monday after my older sons basketball practice or do you want to meet to exchange the kids" He calls me back about 1/2 hour later and says it's too late to drop off kids (B-ball is from 7 - 8 p.m.) he would just keep them and bring them to daycare in the morning. I thought we were in agreement. Apparantely he forgot the conversation cuz he was out with buddies drinking.
My question. What is the best way to communicate with someone who has selective memory? I'm thinking text message because he is not always in front of a computer like I am so email may not work. We don't have set visitation yet so it's not like it's in writing and known ahead of time.
Is there any other forms of communicating besides the verbal & email that might work?
Thanks for your help.

Put something in writing.... even if it's informal.
When we've got a lot going on that means we have to deviate from our regular schedule (band practices, games, competitions, ACT test, driver training... you name it), I give him a calendar... I note the school calendar, when they're out of school, spring break plans and summer vacation plans.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Well, just tell him, "this is the schedule for the week, I need to know now what you intend to do so that I can be sure that I have alternate plans lined up, if needed."
My EX wanted that control, too... but once he figured out that I wasn't going to hinge everything on him, he sort of saw things differently and began to be a player, rather than sit on the bench and wait to jump in at the last minute.
Good luck.... remember.... perception.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~