Concerned Friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Concerned Friend
3
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 3:06pm

A really good friend of mine and his wife have decided to get a divorce. They agreed to work on it together for the sake of their children. Yet this morning his wife went ahead and filed for divorce going behind his back and lying to him. Of course he is very sad that they could not work things out themselves but at the same time he is confused. My question is what is the next step for him. Should he get a lawyer himself? I know that he is hurting a lot right now and i don't want him to make the wrong decison at this time. Can you guys help me so I can help him?

Thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 3:38pm

If the can agree on everything then they can do the whole deal without lawyers. We were lucky in that we had a mediator that told us everything we needed to consider. Also alot of the paperwork helps guide through the process. So long as nobody is trying to screw anybody then you can get away with no lawyers.

He could make an appointment for legal advice as well. He doesn't necessarily need to retain a lawyer, they will allow consultations to give advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 3:50pm
Oh sorry I forgot to say that she filed the divorce through a lawyer already. She paid her retainer and everything. I am not sure if you can have one party with a lawyer and one without either. I know that they were planning on doing it without lawyers but like i said she is not to be trusted and lies ALOT! I am guessing his next step is to get a lawyer of his own. It is sad that people can't be trusted in this world! :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 10:04am

Well, it's smart for both parties to have an attorney, although, sometimes it's done with none... or just one party has an attorney.


Here's my take.... even the simplest situations can get tense during changes like these... and it's just a good idea to have a negotiator on your side (and for each party to have someone in their own court looking things over to make sure that things are fair).


My EX and I pretty much agreed on everything, but there was no way that I was going to walk down the divorce road without an attorney... and my assumption was that my EX shouldn't have been caught off guard when I retained one because it's just good sense to be sure that you've included everything because going back to make changes down the road is much harder than nipping them in the bud now.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~