Concerns regarding lawyer and the papers he filed for my daughters divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2005
Concerns regarding lawyer and the papers he filed for my daughters divorce.
5
Thu, 09-22-2011 - 4:51pm

My daughter finally filed for divorce. Her husband asked her for a divorce months ago and she had to move out of their hm and moved into ours. She has a 3yr old and was still pg with her 2nd child when he asked her for a divorce. We found out that he was having an affair with a girl that my daughter was friends with and worked with. In fact, she worked with a lot of members of this girls family. One of my other daughters was friends with this girls mom. The mom has been to my hm and was even a fb friend of mine. The girls mom knew about her daughters relationship with my son in law and since she was under age, gave her permission to be in a relationship with my son in law. I'm concerned with the wording of the divorce papers filed. It seems like my son in law isn't going to be held accountable for his outrageous behavior. He moved his gf in shortly after my daughter left the hs. I'm concerned with child custody. My son in law has shown through his unstable behavior that he is an unfit parent. I've never had any dealings with a divorce preceding before and am not familiar with how things work? Oh, and my son in law has not provided one dime for the support of his kids. My husband and I have been providing monetary support for our daughter and grandchildren. His parents started helping out financially also. What kind of rights do grandparents have when it comes to their children going through a divorce? I am very concerned that my daughter and her children are going to end up getting the short end of the stick, so to speak, while my son in law gets away with murder, so to speak. I feel so helpless and have no clue what I can do to help except for paying for the divorce attorney? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Kathi

Kathi Taylor
Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Kathi,

Hi. Unfortunately the law doesn't allow for "punishment" for adultery. Divorce has become "no fault" in most states making it very difficult to impose moral standards on a wayward spouse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I agree w/ what wisdomtooth said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2005
musiclover12,
I understand what you are saying and agree. When I wrote my original post and said he is an unfit parent, i wasn't referring to his adultry as being the reason for him being an unfit parent. If I included everything my stbex sil has done in my post it would've turned into a book. He has shown extremely mental instability to the point where he saw a pych & was told he needed to be on meds & has severe mental issues. My stbex sil reaction to the psych dx was he didn't agree with him and wanted a 2nd opinion and would seek a 3rd, 4th, etc opinion till he agreed with what the pysch said. My fear is that my dd is too afraid to speak up. I'm afraid my dd and my grandchildren are going to suffer because of this. I don't go on and on about what her ex has done or what a jerk he is with my dd. I know that will only make her defend him and push her away from us. I know that she still loves him. My concern is that her stbex will get her to pitty him and feel sorry for him and in turn make her go easy on in, so to speak. I hope that what i just said came across as i meant it to? I want what is best for my dd and my grandchildren and will always fight for them and want to protect them. I also know that she is an adult and i can only offer advise and not push her or try to sway her in any way. I have tried to be very careful in what i say to her and how i aproach anything with her. Thank you for your replies. I apreciate a non bias response to my concerns. It helps me to put matters in prospective. Again, thank you for your replies.
Kathi Taylor
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2005
Thank you so very much for your reply. You hit it the nail on the head with many of your comments. Fortunatley my dd has begun to develop a plan for her life. She has gone back to school so that she will have a career in order to support herself and her children in the long term. I agree with you in saying that my stbex sil will do the same to his current gf that he's done to my daughter. I also completely agree with you in stating men like him are never happy with stable, predictable and uninteresting lives. That is his personality to a tee. Thank you for your reply. I apreciate you reading my post and taking the time to reply to it.
Kathi Taylor
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I think if he is exhibiting behavior that could be harmful to the kids, then your DD really needs to speak up cause she needs to protect him.