confused,lost,lonely

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
confused,lost,lonely
3
Sun, 11-20-2005 - 2:28pm
I am a 31 year old woman. Married 11.5 years, together 15. we have never been good at communication. just swept stuff under the rug.....but no big issues, just lots of stress( nursing school, he's a cop, moves, babies) he left 6 weeks ago, says he fell out of love. but he has done things since he left that shows me he still wants to be with me. I don't know how to decipher his actions..but i'm too scared to ask him..I don't want to hear the truth. I am so scared. I want him to come home. I love him and miss him. any advice would be helpful.thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 8:45am
Hello proudmom,
I know you are scared to ask him, but you need to. You say you are miserable right now anyways. Ask him if there is a way this marriage can be saved as you still have feelings for him. Maybe you could see a marriage counsler together to get over the issues that have taken you relationship here. Also, he said he's not in love with you but is showing you otherwise you say. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe he wants to come back also but his pride is keeping him from saying so. So really, let him know how you feel. Good Luck. DESI
Avatar for mom2maggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 11:11am
I could have written your post four months ago. I needed the truth no matter how much it hurt. I wrote my feelings and questions down in a letter. When I gave it to STBX is when he told me that he had filed for divorce. It was very painful, but no more so than being in limbo or uncertain. If I hadn't tried one more time, I would still be wondering if we are doing the right thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 2:33pm

Hello ProudMom,


Uncertainty is far more painful than knowing.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***