Constructive Desertion by Husband
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| Fri, 09-22-2006 - 2:35pm |
Hi, I am trying to find the fastest way to proceed with a divorce from my husband. Neither one of us can vacate the house to establish an official separation as 6 months separation is required in the state of Virginia. We own the house but neither of us have the money to afford living elsewhere and my family lives too far away for me to keep my high-paying job in the area. My husband could leave and stay with family in the area but he refuses. I would love to sell the house but the housing market is in a huge slump right now and it would never go. I can't afford it on my own. I don't want to wait forever to start my life over again! Plus, we have two AMstaff's that are considered "dangerous breeds" and no apartment in the area will accept them. I will eventually move on to my mother's in NC once her house is built by February '07. I hope the housing market will bounce back in the Spring....just a little so we can sell and not have any debt leftover.
My husband and I have been married for two years on Monday, 9/25. We have been in a relationship for 9 1/2 years. The past year has been quite rocky which I blame completely on him. He's irritable, angry, irrational, never spends any time at home, we have had sex once in the past year (9/25/05 & 4/16/06). The most recent time was an ultimatium I gave him because I was sexually frustrated and couldn't take it anymore. I told him to have sex with me or I was leaving. He still refused to have sex with me. He lied to me about why he wasn't having sex with me, he said it was an ED problem. But the doctor's visits proved there was nothing wrong with him and he later claimed it was because he was not attracted to me and then he later recanted that statement.
He has been having an inappropriate relationship with another female but no evidence of physical contact. I have witnessed her strange behavior towards him and he spends 4 out of 7 nights with her during the week. I think he's cheating with her. We separated over the Summer all the while with the agreement we would be faithful to one another. He came back and we tried to work on it and be friends for a while and see what happened. This time he asked that I be faithful and I asked the same of him, we both agreed. Well, I found out he was trying to go away with this woman, who is also married to Atlantic City for the weekend!!! So, as of 9/15, I told him I was done, I wanted a divorce, and suggested we see other people. I don't want to spend the money for a P.I. to prove adultery but want to move on romantically without repercussions like getting accused of adultery. I have been 100% faithful to him during our entire relationship. Even now, I am having a hard time thinking about having sex with someone else even though I know our marriage is over. I do not want to suffer any adverse legalities.
Therefore, I want a divorce now and I think the only way I can do it is claiming CONSTRUCTIVE DESERTION. I read somewhere that in some states a mere unjustified refusal to have sexual relations with one's spouse for a certain length of time constitutes constructive desertion. Does anyone know if this law applies to the State of Virginia? I can't find anything specific on the internet. I am waiting for my lawyer referral to call me back but I wanted to do as much research on the subject as I could to educate myself before I pay a lawyer the big bucks to take on my case.
Any help is appreciated! Hugs and kisses to everyone else out there going through this pain, it's horrible, but in the end it will be worth it...we will find someone that is everything we dreamed about and more. One good thing has come out of this Summer pain.....I've lost 35 pounds!

I think that a consultation with at attorney would help to answer many of your questions
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~