Counseling, Divorce and the kids.....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Counseling, Divorce and the kids.....
3
Wed, 07-26-2006 - 6:50pm
I finally called and made a therapy appt for me. I'm pretty sure 2 of the boy's won't talk to her but my youngest might. I'm going to see her alone first and see what she recommends. At the very least she can teach me how to help them. I told my youngest I was expecting a call, when she called I went into my bedroom to talk and make the appt. Drew asked me who it was so I told him it was someone I can talk to about what's going with his dad and I. Drew got very agitated and kept saying "why? you're not getting a divorce." It was so hard. I don't want to tell them I intend to divorce their dad until I can afford to file. STBX won't file, he still thinks we can work it out. I've told him I don't love him and have no plans to ever get back with him. Even after that conversation he calls me honey, tells me he loves me and even said he wanted to have sex with me!! I told him to F off after the sex comment and hung up on him. He's friggen clueless. I hope the counselor can help me sort all of this out, I don't like seeing Drew so upset. I'm terrified the boy's will grow up to hate me, and blame me for the divorce. I wish I could just get it over with. It's funny, D-day was 5 years ago and I'm still cleaning up the mess!! I wish these people understood how long this affects the betrayed spouse before they cheat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 11:14am

Divorce is definitely hard on kids. But not matter how they react to the news, with the right support from their parents (and possibly counselors) their lives do go on and they can flourish. At first, my son was VERY angry with me about the divorce, and he father certainly helped fuel the flames of anger. But as time went on, he became much more accepting of the situation. Like

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 11:51am

the whole "telling the kids" is one aspect of the divorce - its definately a biggie, because it will put the whole divorce issue 'out in the open' - but i think you are worrying about THIS aspect too much.

your kids will be ok. you need to get therapy for yourself, and for them, and they will get thru this ok. of course they don't WANT this right now (who does?) because its scary, its a change that they don't want - they want a *normal* life.

hugs...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 5:44pm
I'm glad that you are getting some help... relief!... for you!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~