couple friends?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
couple friends?!?!
7
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 11:47am
I know this might be considered small beans to the rest of your problems...but I have been separated for about 3 weeks now..and I havent told the couple friends that I made after marriage that I am separated....and I dont want to say anything until it my divorce is finalized...but my question is..how do I deal with these friends?..I have been avoiding them and so has my STBX (from what I hear)...I'm just lost...and the more I think about it the more queasy and emotional I get..
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2006
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 12:38pm
I have no better advise for you other than you will know when it is the right time to tell people. I told no one about my husbands affair for a month (he was still living at home at the time). Basically I "knew" it was over when he moved out. We have many mutual friends, all of which know the truth now. Ultimately, it will be their decision to stay acquaintances/friends with someone who has no morals left.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 1:26pm

Thank you for your advice!!

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 9:57am

It's always tough to tell people that your life is changing!!!, especially when it's still emotional for you to handle.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 1:42pm
First I am sorry to hear you are seperated; that in itself is difficult to deal with. It has almost 1 year since I filed for divorce, but I remember how I felt in the beginning. We only had a couple of mutual friends. I know my X husband told them (he was closer to them) but I don't know when. It's really getting interesting now though (our divorce has been final for 3 months). They are being more supportive of me and I am trying to figure out how to handle this situation (not visiting them when he does and things like that). Give it some time. Depending on the situation, hopefully your mutual friends will understand and both of you will be able to stay friends with them. It gets alot more complicated when everyone starts taking side (no matter who's side they take). Hope this helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 9:05pm
Thank You for the advice, it has helped; I know that I may not associate with these friends much when they find out the news and I am ok with that. I guess I just wasn't sure how they would see the association. I know that I don't want to play the "blame game" because I know that I want to end this with a clean heart, rather than creating a bigger mess.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 9:09pm
Thank you so much for your advice and support, I was thinking about the best way to approach this and you gave me a great way to lay it out there. I do not want to start the blame game, just make it a quick and clean break. Thanks Again!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 11:37pm
Even though my EX was the biggest lowlife by the time we divorced.... taking the high road with that simple, non-inflamitory explanation went MILES toward just making me feel better about it all.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~