Creating Your Own Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Creating Your Own Life
4
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:32am

What are some of tht things you did to start your own life? I am realizing just how much of my life was wrapped around my husbands family and church. Now, when I have the kids I don't really have anywhere to go with other kids, etc. or people to go out to dinner with etc. so that we can have group activities and fun times.

I'm trying to get involved in another church but I'm trying to figure out where someone who is divorced with children fit in. It seems focused on either singles or couples in most churches.

My parents live nearby but they travel a lot and my sister and her 4 boys are in another state. My close friends all are just starting their families and my children are 10 and 7.

Some ideas would be great. I checked out the local Parents Without Partners, but from their website the parents all seem much older than me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2006
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 12:39pm

You may want to search for a DivorceCare group at a church near you. It's a faith based support for people recovering from divorce. You may meet other people in your situation and then feel more comfortable on Sunday mornings. There's also a class called Divorce Care for kids which is for 5-12 year olds. That way your kids could make some connections, too.


www.divorcecare.com


HTH.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 12:54pm

"think outside the box" - that's what worked for me.

its not easy - because when you are not part of a couple /family --- it seems that EVERYONE out there IS part of a couple/family. but you know something - there are many many many single parents out there. many community organizations - like churches, synagogues - do center around 'families'. but here's a thought - why not speak to the people in power, and see if you can arrange some kind of single parents events?

other than that - move out of the family-oriented things. think about: college classes, volunteering, hiking group, bicycle club, walking club, join a gym, art gallery.... etc etc etc. anything would work. the point is that you would find people who have similar interests to you - and that is the basis of your friendship. doesn't really matter who/what they are. also - why not do things with another family - like inviting another family over for dinner/bbq? so what if *your* family has just a mommy - doesn't mean you are not a family!!

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 3:32pm

I took up Tae Kwon Do. My son started classes last fall (when he was almost 5) and I started in January of this year about 6 weeks after I filed for divorce and just before he returned from Iraq with his girlfriend.

TKD gives me an outlet as an adult and for my family.

While TKD might not work for YOU, there are tons of other family friendly opportunities for you as an adult, and for you and your children depending upon your community and interests.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 8:59pm
This is something I have struggled with also. My life was basically absorbed by work and caring for my son. My energy was sapped by being in an unhappy marriage. I wouldn't write off Parents without Partners. Even if some of the parents are older, it's still a chance to make some new connections.