CT moms?
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| Fri, 03-10-2006 - 1:02pm |
Hi ladies...I have been lurking somewhat and I noticed that there are some single moms in CT? I am in CT myself and in a very unhappy marriage and scared to death to leave because I am a sahm...of a toddler (boy)...and as you CT moms know...its so expensive around here. I have no family in state and I just can't justify taking my son away from his dad. (he is a great dad) Plus I know he would fight me hard on it. So what are my options?
My mom has offered to help me financially, which means she would help me get an apartment. BUT THEN WHAT? Then I am on my own. No job, a child that has never been in daycare, an angry H...broke....
What do I need to do first? I am getting depressed because I feel SO trapped.
Any input would be greatly appreciated!
PMF

Welcome! I'm from CT, too.
You are NOT kidding about how expensive it is around here! I was not an SAHM, but I still was very financially trapped and scared.
First....go see an attorney. You may be able to get temporary spousal support, and you will get child support. That's GREAT that your mother is going to help you get set up in a place. It's probably best if you start pricing out apartments and looking for jobs and a daycare for your child before you file, so you'll be that far ahead of the game.
Just take some small steps. Start with contacting a lawyer.
Also, feel free to send me a message through my profile if you have questions about specific locations in CT...etc.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
PMF, honey, I was in your shoes 17 months ago, with 2 kids, no education, and nothing but my parents to help me, and support me emotionally. I took my 2 daughters (ages 7 and 2 at the time), left our 4000 square foot home, and went to my parents with nothing but a few hundred dollars in my wallet. Since then, I have found a job, child care, and am now looking to buy a condo. I also have been dating a wonderful guy for 13 months, but that's not where you need advice.
Do you want to tell us where you are? Feel free to email me if you'd like. I have work for a lawyer (strange, miraculous story) in East Hartford, and I will have him recommend someone for your area. Have you ever worked? Do you have an education or traning in anything? I would suggest finding the job first. Daycare is easy, once you have the job, you can get daycare assistance. I found that too.
Please post back, or email and I will do all I can to help you find the strength and resources to get out and find peace.
Kerry in CT (northeastern, for now)
(sunflowerct@hotmail.com)
Thanks to all who responded. I was really happy to see responses!
I am in Hartford County. I live out in the woods towards Litchfield county though. :)
Yes I worked up until my son was born. Really my only experience is in high end retail, but at least its something. I had a job lined up until about a week ago and it fell through, which not only bummed me out, but it made me lose my spot for my son in daycare. So back to square one. I wish daycare wasn't so damn expensive too.
From a distance it seems we have the nicest life. Beautiful home, wonderful child...but I am DYING to get out of my marriage. Maybe if my H was horrible to me, I would feel less guilty. He is not a bad person, just not the right one. AT ALL.
It would be nice if I had some family in CT, I would be living with them already...
So...job, daycare, save money, contact a lawyer...
Will the first meeting with the lawyer be free? And confidential right? How do I avoid having them call my house...or my cell for that matter?(H pays that)
Thanks so much for any further insight.
PMF
"Will the first meeting with the lawyer be free?"
Typically, in CT, most lawyers offer an initial free consultation. If it isn't free, it is usually very low-cost. However, if you do decide to retain the attorney's services, you will be charged for that first consultation...but that money would come out of your retainer fee.
"And confidential right?"
Absolutely.
"How do I avoid having them call my house...or my cell for that matter?(H pays that)"
You just tell the lawyer during your consultation how/where/when you'd like to be contacted. Any lawyer that has experience in family law is usually very sensitive to the fact that some people filing for divore need to keep it very quiet and not tell their spouses in advance.
"job, daycare, save money, contact a lawyer"
I'd say contact the lawyer first so you can get some questions answered. That may help put your mind at ease.