Custody

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Custody
14
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 10:52am

I filed for divorce over a month ago. My husband is stalling and making things difficult. When I filed for divorce, I had just gotten sick of everything. The emotional and mental abuse had finally gotten to much for me. My husband had gone for over a year and a half without telling me he loved me. He never hugged me or kissed me. I was starved for affection. I've never cheated on him - until after he moved out of the house and I had filed for divorce. Two weeks after he moved out, I did something really stupid. I went out with a male friend of mine and he held me and he let me cry and he offered me some of the things that I have needed for so long. It's not an ongoing affair. I don't love him and I'm not in a relationship of anything more than friends.

I found out since that my husband had already hired a private investigator to follow me. I don't know what he knows. Can he get custody of our kids if it comes out that I did this even though it was after he moved out? I've been very adament about the fact that there is not another man in my life. I don't know anything about divorce/custody cases where adultery is involved. I know it's still adultery since the divorce isn't final. He told me that he is going to fight me for custody of the kids and that he'll win. I'm an excellent mother, I have the higher income, and the kids are better off emotionally and physically with me. But, can he take them from me on the grounds that I committed adultery?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
In reply to: dlainef2
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 10:03pm

Definately call a hotline.

He threatened you with a gun to your head. It doesn't matter how many years ago. That was his way of letting you know then not to cross him that HE was in control of everything.

I said to myself before ever getting married that I would never stay in an abusive relationship. My ex used to punch the wall or inanamit (sp?) onjects or throw things past my head and break things. The night he decided to smash my cell phone because he assumed I was talking to someone he didn't want me to, was the night I left and never returned.

I didn't know about the womens shelters then either and wish I did. They will be able to help you deal with this before something goes to far.

K:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: dlainef2
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 12:22am

I just KNEW it by reading something in your original post! PLEASE, protect yourself & your children. I can pretty much GAURENTEE you that you WILL get a RO based on just those couple if incidents ... "He spent years telling me if I ever left him no one would ever find the body" & the threats w/ a gun to your head .... i woudl be SHOCKED if there wasnt a protective order put on you.

Please E me if you want, i JUST did this, And yes, based on threats moslty, not anything totally violent. I am telling you, you will feel like a new person if you do it. NwptRN@Yahoo.com R~

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
In reply to: dlainef2
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 7:34pm

Have you called a domestic abuse shelter? They're the ones to ask if you can get an RO. It depends on the laws in your state, not on the opinions of the police officers. Some are good about it, some are bad, and some, as you said, are friends of your stbx. I was told I couldn't make my ex leave, so I didn't. Later I discovered I probably could have done. You may be able to get a court order to make him call off the PI's too.

I hope it all works out soon, and may time pass quickly until it's over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
In reply to: dlainef2
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 7:38pm
Well, you can tell who posted first and read later.

Pages