Custody battle....what should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2007
Custody battle....what should I do?
2
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 12:28am
My story is a really long one...to put it in a nutshell, I am getting divorced after 21 years of marriage. My H is a lazy bum who hasn't worked in 2 yrs and let me keep us up on my inheritence,which is now gone. I filed for divorce and am now living in a house that was owned by us that was a rental property. He has gotten us into such a mess financially. We were about to lose our home and luckily we sold it before foreclosure. Anyway, I am working 3 jobs trying to make ends meet....while he "piddles". Our kids are 18 and 10. The 10 yr old is close to him and he stays with his dad while I work. My h lives with his mom now. I am asking for child support and alimony. He left a job making 60K that he had been at for 17yrs. I got a response from his attorney yesterday and he is asking for full custody of my son and says I abandoned him. It makes me so sick that he is doing this. I think he is trying to get out of paying any child support at all. I am not going to be able to make my house payment and all the bills without some help. I just graduated from cosmetology school and until I get my business off and running I am not going to be able to make ends meet. My attorney says that I have nothing to worry about. I feel it is so unfair that he has put me in the position to work all these hours and now he has my son all the time because of my work schedule and I can't do a thing about it. My daughter is 18 and ready for college in the fall. I am so stressed right now...I need any advice or encouragement you can give. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 8:48am

One piece of advise....do NOT budget on child support. Dont count on it in order to be able to make ends meet.. If he doesn't pay, you will be done (finacially wise). Figure out a way to make ends meet without the child support. Then, if he does pay it, it's icing on the cake.

Also, technically if you're working, he can file for alimony. He can use the excuse "i'm taking care of our child-that's why I'm not working". Be very careful with the alimony thing.

Good luck to you. Keep your head up and chose your battles...
Hugs
Deb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 9:03am

You are taking care of yourself and your children. That is the responsible thing. Follow your attorney's advice. I can't give you better than that.

Hugs,

M