Custody Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Custody Question
4
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 4:59pm
My husband of 1.5 years and I are seriously considering divorce as we fight constantly about his mother
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 9:28pm

I do not know about the 50% part--my xh chooses not to be involved with our child... and yes, the grass is always greener on the other side (those who do have a lot of involvement often wish their x's were involved less and vice versa), but I too suffered from PPD after the birth of our child and my now xh threatened me with using PPD against me... but let's get the facts straight for a minute... PPD is an illness... you realized you were sick and received treatment and are now well... I don't think you need to worry about the PPD playing a role in the ultimate decision...


Good Luck!


Julie

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 9:35pm
I am not sure, it depends on your state. Where I live there is joint custody which is really my son lives with me and dad gets him every other weekend. It seems that you have a lot going on, a young son and a short marriage. Any chance of counseling? I had PPD as well, it was mild though. I know what those feelings can be like. The only way to get a straight answer may be to contact a lawyer. I would hope your PPD would not be an issue, especially since you were treated for it. Best of luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 12:59am
Hi, I am going through some custody issues too. If you can get a lawyer it makes a big difference, not just any lawyer, a really good lawyer if you can. Look into the laws in your state. Maybe you can find something online, I searched by entering child custody law and my state and went from there. I know here in FL they look at what is in the best interest of the child, like how you said you only work 3 days a week, and he works all the time, that means your baby is used to being with you most of the time and they will take that into consideration. Having an attorney makes all the difference though of how long it will take, it's very complicated, (and we weren't even married). Another thing to look into if you need is free legal aid, you can try that online too by your county, or here it was in the phonebook in the government secton. I wish you lots of luck, I hope ya'll can come to an agreement without having to go through the courts. My ex would make threats like that just to try and have control, and make me stay, but when it came down to it he never followed through. Do what's best for you and your baby, I hope everyting works out for you. (((hugs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 5:07am

Ask a lawyer what is normally done by the courts who will be hearing your case. I happen to live in a county that defaults to 50/50 if the parents cannot agree. You are very likely to get something very close to what is normally done in your county, whatever that is.

And yes, he can get the baby 50% of the time. These days, children are often treated like assets to be divided evenly in a divorce. If he does, you will most likely have to pay him child support.

This is the situation I'm in except my children are older. I'm the primary bread winner and have been the children's primary caregiver but our county splits parenting in disputes and 50/50 is what he wants.