Cyclic Sadness
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Cyclic Sadness
| Mon, 08-01-2005 - 11:02pm |
Does anyone else find that their sadness is cyclic? I seems to do Ok for a week or so then all of a sudden I have days like today where I have just cried all day. Which is real convient when I am trying to work. NOT! I don't know if it is because I don't have my boys this week. I still get to see them nearly everyday for a couple of hours. I know these week will be harder, but this is craziness. I can't spend the rest of my life crying every other week. Every evening when I have to return them to their father someone is upset, saying they don't want to go. It just breaks my heart. I want to keep them with me all the time. It takes all I have to leave them with their father knowing they don't want to be there. They say all he does is yell at them all the time. He has always been hard on them, but I think now that he realizes he has no control over me he is being twice as controlling over them. I am trying to be strong for them, but days like today are tough. This week is especially tough for me because Friday is the end of the 30 day waiting period and the state of Kansas will sign off on the divorce saying we are finally divorced for good. I really thought he would change his mind. Can he not see what he is doing to the boys? Sorry I am starting to ramble.
I hope everyone has a great week! Hugs, Brenda
I hope everyone has a great week! Hugs, Brenda

Brenda, I'm so sorry you are getting dumped on like this. Have you considered seeing your physician or therapist about an antidepressant? I have been on prozac for years. I wouldn't have lasted this long without it. I still get sad, and I'm not every really perky on it, but it takes the edge off and gives me strength and energy to get through the day. Better than the way I was; lying on the couch and snapping at total strangers.
Anyway, my prescription cost me $5 per month and is worth every penny. I'm hoping I can wean down to a lower dose soon. I do have a family history of depression/alcoholism so it is unlikely I will ever discontinue it. But for someone in your immediate crisis situation, it can just be a temporary helper.
Susie
Hugs to you and thanks for the response. Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
i was just about to post something very similar about sadness coming and going. i actually try to track when it comes and goes so i can see if it is something as simple as PMS (thanks, hormones!) or certain events that trigger it. i know that may make me seem like a control freak, but if i know what's causing it, i can try to prevent it from hitting me (because it can hit like a brick wall when it does).
i think it's a pretty normal part of the grieving process. even if we were the divorce initiator (i was), you are still grieving the loss of your relationship. i have a lot of regret now for doing things the way i did, and that causes me a lot of sadness. i feel bad for hurting my STB-ex. i am also sad because i think we could have worked things out if i had talked about things sooner.
i only have a couple of girlfriends whose shoulders i feel like i can cry on...i feel like talking about my divorce issues (all of them are happily married) pale in comparison to their issues - they all have kids. i think that is the error in my thinking.
we all just need to find the things that help us get on - whether it's an outlet like some kind of artistic expression, or working out, talking to friends, posting online - whatever.