"daddy this and daddy that" UGGGGGGHHHH
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"daddy this and daddy that" UGGGGGGHHHH
| Sun, 10-22-2006 - 9:11pm |
Well, the boys spent the weekend at dad's new house...I know they are exited but I can't stand another comment. "Daddy got this cool big screen TV, and got us all three new beds and new bikes and this and that and did our bathroom in sponge bob and on and on and on and and we made new friends and we did this and that and the other thing"....
It just hurts so bad. How is it fair that this man is so happy after what he has done to me and to our children. I hate him. I have to get passed this and know that I would rather have him involved with our kids than to disappoint them. It just hurts so badly.
sigh...

Awww... I know it is difficult and hard to hear and see, but from your post, I know you have everything in the right perspective...
... I have to get passed this and know that I would rather have him involved with our kids than to disappoint them....
I'm dealing with the disappointment thing tonight with my Joey. His father is getting married this week in Disney and Joey wasn't invited. Yesterday, he asked why he wasn't and I deferred that one to his father--I don't make excuses for him. Tonight, he asked his great-aunt, who is going to the wedding, if he could go to Disney the next time they have a wedding. As much as this aunt can get on my nerves (mainly because she feels her nephews, xh included, has never done a thing wrong in their lives), Joey's question brought tears to my eyes...
Sending hugs and hopes for peace your way!
Julie
Blah, I remember the first time my kids went to their father and gf's new place. They spent their time with him and mother buying new bunkbeds, bedding, and storage stuff for their room. When they came home and my 5 year old kept asking how many nights she could stay at Dad and Sara's it crushed me. They still come home and talk about what they did with dad and gf, but I've been able to get used to it more and it's not as hard as it was 6 months ago.
Hang in there. :-)
Trust me, I can relate. I had that taken to a whole new level this summer when my DS came home from a week with his dad, saying how wonderful and fabulous life was at his house, while I was mean, yelled, and didn't pay attention to him enough. I nearly fell out of my chair. It just shocked me that this man largely ignored DS for 10 years while I did everything in my power to try to raise a happy and healthy child, minus reasonable involvement from his dad.
HOWEVER...I have learned to not take it personally. It's been hard, but I'm nearly there.
I am going through exactly the same thing currently. My ex just bought a new house---in fact, he had the kids pick it out for him (they are 4 & 6). It just made me sick. Yes, they are also excited and it almost makes me feel I am losing them to him. Everything is new--he got them new toys, new things for their rooms, etc.... Every time he has them for the weekend, it's some great adventure---amusement parks, zoo, movies, shopping, etc.... things I can't do because of financial constraints.
The advice I've gotten is this--you can't control what he does. He has chosen to move on. Yes, he has to get new things so they have things at his house too. They have items at your house as well. If he's buying all new things for his house--look at it this way--he sure is spending a lot of his own cash isn't he? It will eventually get old for your kids. He may be also trying to "buy" their affection---and if he is, that will backfire. If he's happy--then he's happy. You need to concentrate on you and getting yourself through this. Trust me, it's easier said then done.
I know it's hard--it's sounds exactly what I'm going through. You just hate him. But, I think if I search deep within, I believe it's really jealously---which stems from fear of having my kids choose him over me. But, they don't have to choose. YOu are their mother, and noone can replace that.
Darcy