Daisymaes_mom......where are you??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Daisymaes_mom......where are you??
14
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 8:18pm
Has anyone heard from Daisymaesmom lately?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 2:11pm

Hey girl,


Actually you brought me luck in putting me as the 3rd person to have good things happen to. What an unbelievable stressful week.


The house finally is listed and has a for sale sign on the front lawn-something I've dreaded but it is definitely time and so I am ready-hopefully it will not drag out too long-Actually talking with STBX about figuring out a way for the dog and me to move out and him move in to keep things up without dog hair everywhere.


The same day that happened I got an email from STBX about his depo scheduled for next Tues.-all the emails had been so hateful and hard to read so I was not responding which bothered him. He basically gave me an ultimatim saying this was the last time he would consider settling without going to trial. Everytime we had agreed to a settlement it was bombarded by his lawyer so I was skeptical but it was as giving as I could expect from him and is not tied to the house sale so it will be money I can use to resettle. The trouble has been getting the depo cancelled since now the lawyers are being evasive-my lawyer is concerned if he cancels the depo STBX will cancel his offer to settle once again. Hopefully things will move more quickly at this point and I can move on and leave the house for him to handle the sale. Moving on... what a concept! I have no ties to GA so I know I want to get as far from here as possible. The opportunities are endless and overwhelming. I hope things are continuing to go well for you and musiclover.


Thanks for worrying about me but also for thinking of me and giving me the wish of the 3rd good thing happening. I honestly saw such a long road still ahead and now it looks like there will be an end-soon......

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 11:20pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Sat, 07-19-2008 - 8:38am

Don't you hate the yo-yoing (new word!) of feelings back and forth. One day I'm optimistic and ready to go forth into that

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-19-2008 - 10:40pm

They accepted my offer.......well they countered $100 more than I said........but it's a deal.

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-20-2008 - 2:44pm

Went to sign the papers for the counter offer that other real estate agent agreed upon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 5:00pm

I forced myself out of the house today which has become a daily struggle and one I am worried about. I know I need to be around others and it gets harder and harder. I live about 8 miles from a very small town and 25 to the one I usually go to for food etc. I just hate bumping into people and having to small talk. I don't have my kids around although I talk to them once a week-and my family is spread across the US. (all retired Air Force 3 brothers and dad) I don't even pick up the phone some days because I know people get tired of hearing someone so down. My STBX and I never argued-his "thing"-so I never said anything bad even about him to anyone. That's also why getting hit with the fact that he had seen a lawyer before ever even mentionning divorce killed me.He was very controlling which I see now and would have seen sooner but I was always working and going to grad school. (yes, even I can see the psychology there).


Now the house is finally listed and I need to be close because if someone is coming to see it I'll have to take the dog for a ride as she thinks all company is here for her. (Come to think of it-it is!) Another reason to stay in. I have boxed all boxes-touch-up painted and keep up with all the yard work and still have toooooooo much time to think.


This is going to pass and I know that. I'm waiting to hear from my lawyer with the settlement agreement to sign hopefully this week. Even with the boxes, for sale sign and everything else I still can't believe this is happening. I can't imagine ever being able to be friends with this man who has done this-it tears me apart still to hear his voice or worse see him. Of course he uses that as the reason he can't come help around here-I get too emotionnal. He is emotion-less. so it doesn't make sense to him.


Sorry for the pity party-Monday is almost over and Daisy and I are grilling a steak tonight. Tomorrow will be better and Wed. better than that!

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 7:42pm

(HUGS)


No need to explain the pitty party.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 9:06pm

Isn't it funny we're at that age when this wonderful technology was not even conceived of and I don't know what I would do without the little pick-me ups and boosts I get from hearing from people who don't know me only what I am going thru. It has meant so much to just to connect with someone. Like you I could not imagine leaving my dog-definitely more difficult than leaving the STBX. It is so funny to see Daisy Mae sit protectively on me (all 90 pounds of lab grace) when he comes. He took care of her as much as I did but once he left as far as she is concerned I am the one she needs to take care of. She is out burying our steak bone and clearing the yard of the Canadian Geese who refuse to move back up north.


All of this is going to be over-I know it and know that I will be so much happier. Even now the simple things like watching Katie Courac instead of switching over because STBX wouldn't watch unless Charlie Gibson or any man was doing the news. I think as I flip thru channels how many shows I've never seen as I never had "control" of the remote! That is not even something he would consider to this day as something I put up with-it's just the way it was. It is crazy to allow someone that much control over your day to day life and just accept it as the norm. I'm sure that's so much of the fear now-I've never made major life decisions and it is overwhelming to think about but the whole world is out there-unexplored-geez just the numbers of possible TV channels is unbelievable.


Do think of me tomorrow. It was to be the day of the deposition of my STBX-my lawyer warned me about cancelling it (but I did anyway) since STBX has backed out of two settlement agreements already and he fears this may be a "ploy" Because of how little he actually conceded I believe he is sincere but my radar hasn't been good yet. I had hoped to hear from my lawyer that he had at least received paperwork from STBX's lawyer but no such luck. I truly dreaded the deposition as several things would have come out that have not been put on the table such as the excessive drinking and it has become all about how much he suffered for 30 years while I supported him. Thanks for being there. It is exciting to think you will soon be in your own place. I need to decide on a state, then city then condo or home yada yada yada. But 1st priority is getting the settlement locked in and the divorce finalized. It will have been a year probably by then and I have needed the time to find out who I am without him (and a job, and kids at home, and a home)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:32pm
Hey, the divorce cruise sounds good to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:35pm
Congratulations on the condo!

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