dating??? what dating??? whatever

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
dating??? what dating??? whatever
4
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 2:28pm

glups. I see your posts about dating after divorce, after separation, during. and I think it is such a great and lucky thing!!!
I am starting to feel completely a-sexual. My worries and my priorities do not include sex and mating anymore (??? or did they ever...). I am separated and living apart (different continents) since more than three years, on a very accepted and peaceful separation. I am still on good terms with my ex, but made clear on several situations that I do not want to get back together - and truly do not want to.

I am not an asexual person. I like men. I like people and life. I used to like relationships... now it feels like I can't be bothered - and the message must be heard loud and clear because guys don't even SEE me (and I am decent looking, nothing intimidating but fair). I wish someone would appear on the horizon, but ...

Is there something wrong with me??? 3 years are a LOOONG time. it feels lonely out here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 4:50pm

I feel the same way and it's been four years for me. I just came to the conclusion this week that what I'm really feeling is afraid of men. After twenty-three years of marriage, and a horrible divorce, I guess I'm just not into putting myself into that vulnerable position again. But then I get lonely and feel like I want a relationship.

I must be putting out the same "vibes", too, because no one shows any interest any more.

Sorry, I just don't have a solution or advice!

Edie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 10:39pm
One year for me. And I have been wanting to find a relationship but don't know how. For awhile it felt like nobody noticed. Now I am getting a few second glances, but nothing more so far. In my case it has a lot to do with the confidence shown on the outside. Body language is so important. I am gradually showing more confidence and so it allows me to be a bit more...attracting. After a long discussion with a friend, I have started to believe that my body language has been saying to all propective guys 'don't touch' and they shy away for fear of rejection. Also in our discussion was the other extreme seen with certain ladies at work, where their body language says 'touch me, anyone, please...' which I definitely do not want to communicate. I guess I have to learn something in the middle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Mon, 11-07-2005 - 12:14am
Not worth it for me - I took a beating in the divorce and don't trust men anymore - don't care to be with anyone again, unless maybe I'll turn to Lesbianism!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 10:38pm
Hey Edie.... it's good to see ya!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~