Dating while going through a divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Dating while going through a divorce
6
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:04pm

Hi All,

I've been separated since summertime while awaiting for my divorce to go through (which could be months). I was thinking how nice it would be to go out on occasion for dinner or to see a movie with someone of the opposite sex. I'm not looking for anything serious, just someone to do some things with. For those of you going through the divorce process, how long did you wait before dating?

Thanks, Belinda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:43pm

Belinda,


From my own experience, I was emotionally ready to date before we even seperated.

Avatar for mom2maggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:45pm

I've been separated since this summer as well. STBX and I aren't fighting about anything, but our divorce isn't final yet either.

I do get out of the house. However, I have refrained from going out with someone of the opposite sex unless I'm going with a group of friends, such as a group of co-workers going out for happy hour.

The reason I am waiting is because I know I'm not ready for anything serious, and I can't imagine regularly going out with a man to have someone to do things with without one of us wanting more. The thought of going on a bunch of first dates doesn't appeal to me either.

When I don't have friends available on my nights when the kids are at their dad's house I either go shopping or tackle a house project.

Everyone is different. Do what feels right to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 3:42pm

Hi Belinda....


I waited until the divorce was final.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:27pm
You are thinking about the pleasant side of dating. You need to decide if you feel ready for the negative side. Having to wade through a lot of frogs, rejection, and people who sweep you up, then just disappear without explanation. I have heard friends lament that the break up of their first post-divorce relationship seemed to hit them ten times harder than their divorce did. I think that might be a sign that they started too soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2004
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 10:46pm
i just wanted to agree with everything that you said. i feel the exact same way. it is a personal choice, and one that has to be made with some thought. for me, i was ready to start dating right after the separation - nothing serious, but i was ready to discover life, and myself, again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 1:48am
I'm an older mom with a young child - no desire to date - too many STD's and too many jerks - good luck to all you young 'uns. I'll just raise my son and get a cat - I'm done...