DD going to EX's for first time

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
DD going to EX's for first time
4
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:13am
Finally gave in and said it was okay, but am really sad about it because yesterday, EX was peeved about how DD is growing up too fast and he's missing everything. I'm just concerned that she won't be in a safe place, as his apt is, well, not where I think it should be. How do I get through this? I hate being alone..
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:27am
It's hard but he deserves to be a part of her life too. When she leaves, keep yourself busy. Do things for you!! Go shopping in peace! Clean that closet you've been wanting to get to. Soak in the tub, uninterrupted for a long time!! The first few times are hard, but soon, you'll begin enjoying the time alone!

As for his apt., you have to be assured that he will keep her safe. I'm sure he doesnt' want anything to happen to her either. Make sure you get an address and phone number of where she will be. Ask for her to call you every night to say good night....

Post here if you get lonely! We are here for you!!

Hugs

Deb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:37am
I know what you mean....

The first time alone is hard enough and it just magnifies every little concern you have about the other parent. Deb is right, he does have the right to parent her and he wants to keep her safe too. Do what you need to do to distract yourself and set up ways to check in with her and make sure the visit is going well. Post here as much as you need to to keep your head above water and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

VM




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 1:28pm
The first time can be very hard. Two weeks ago, my stbx took my boys over to OW's house for the first time as an overnight. I thought that my heart was being ripped out of my chest, and that I was no longer a good mother, which I know is not true...

Deb is right, he has the right to be a part of dd's life. Get phone numbers, itineraries, whatever you need to make you feel secure about your time apart. But as painful as it is, there are benefits, as Deb said. Go out shopping uninterrupted, take a loooooong bubble bath, do those things that need to be done around the house so that when you and dd are together again, all of that time can be devoted to her.

Many hugs to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 3:24pm
I know it's difficult..... but... if he cares enough to want to see her, then hopefully, he'll be responsible. We're here for you, too!

hugs,

Karen


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~