DD not taking dad's calls

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
DD not taking dad's calls
2
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 10:00pm

Ever since the incident with GF and DD, my DD has not wanted to take her father's phone calls.

I have caller ID so I know when he is calling and even before this I never answered his phone calls and would tell DD (5yr) that her dad was calling for her and she would answer it.

Never have told her you have to hurry up and get off or you can't talk to him. She knows and I still tell her that she can call him whenever she wants.

Now he calls and I tell her that it is her dad and she says "I don't want to talk to him..." or "...let the machine get it.." I asked her if she was mad at him and she said no she just doesn't want to talk to him. He would leave stearn messages saying "I WILL CALL YOU AT 9 P>M> YOU SHOULD BE HOME BY THEN...."

I don't answer the calls because even if I did tell him "hey she says she doesn't want to talk to you..." I KNOW you will go off. I haven't intercepted their calls before so why start now. Every message he leaves I always ask my DD if she heard it and if I can delete it and she says yes or play it again.

I made her call him after he phoned 2x and she said "dad I got your messages but I don't want to talk to you.." I could hear him saying "when I call YOU talk to me!" Not yelling but talking to her like a very stearn father (which he never has been).

I am sure his feelings are hurt but I have nothing to do with it. I continously tell my DD if you ever want to call your dad you can and she says I know but I don't want too.

I feel for the way he has treated her this is his payback but I hope he doesn't waste our Friend of the Court's time and tell them his DD doesn't want to talk to him. Remember this the one that petitioned the court for reduction in child support and then NEVER returned anything on HIS own motion. Yep he is kinda slow....

Any one else in this situation? Doesn't bother me I just want to make sure I am keeping this positive for my DD.

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 10:24pm

Hey there...

My ds is 4 and he sometimes wants to talk to his father, who lives in another state, so we call... and sometimes, he does not... even when his father calls him...

This doesn't just happen to my xh, meaning, there are times when he doesn't want to talk to xmil or his uncles or aunt or his pawpaw... it doesn't just happen over here either, happens at xil's house... it just happens... he's 4...

sometimes I think there is something to it and other times I just think he's 4... fortunatly, he knows that it isn't just him... a strange thing... I still talk to xh's former best friend... (they're not as close as they once were)...and most of the time when I'm talking to him, ds wants to talk to him... is odd, but I go with it...

You're definitely not the only one out there... and I do agree, part of it is their fault for not being more involved (my xh does not call on a regular schedule at all, sometimes every day, sometimes ds won't hear from him for a week or more)... they've made their bed, so to speak... but, I think our children are trying to deal with emotions they may not fully understand quite yet...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 7:05am

I agree with Julie on this one... you've got to keep in mind that she's FIVE... and at this point, if the stern messages continue, you need to remind him, politely, that she's FIVE... and being the least bit stern at all will deter any chance he's got.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~