DD wants to divorce after 10 months
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DD wants to divorce after 10 months
| Sun, 03-23-2008 - 1:26pm |
My daughter is 23 and was married in May.
| Sun, 03-23-2008 - 1:26pm |
My daughter is 23 and was married in May.
You sound like a good Mom and have honest concern for your daughter.
Mom,
Hi. From what you've told us in your post it sounds like your daughter's using a smokescreen to cover her true intent: she's not interested in being single again, she's interested in someone other than her husband.
The fact she expressed doubts before her wedding is also another key. In hindsight,perhaps it would have been best to write off the deposits and recall the invitations. (That's always a tough decision because it's normal to get cold feet before such a major commitment. )
It could be she regrets not dating anyone else before she got married. It could be she's busy "looking over the fence" and wondering what it would be like to have been with someone else. Either way she has to make a decision: she either stops looking (texting) and puts her whole focus on her marriage and her husband or she leaves and goes "single" again.
Encourage your Son-in-law to get marriage counseling. Both he and your daughter would benefit from some professional objectivity and help. This has to be their call though, you can only offer the suggestion and be supportive of them. You can't fix them or intervene.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Age may have not been a factor for you, but it sounds like it is for your daughter. I was in the same shoes of your daughter when I got pregnant at 19 & had my first son. His father & I weren't married, but we were a family for 5 years living together. The first few years, I gave alot to him & my son & by the end of it, I was given out & realized that I still had some growing/living to do & wanted to do it w/out my sons father. Yes it was selfish & I did feel alot of guilt after we split up, but in the end, it was the best decision for me at the time. Everyone matures etc. differently & what works for some, doesn't always work well for others.
Since that time, I have grown & over the time of other experiences, have gotten to know myself better & therefore am getting more & more to a point of becoming more selfless (I'm almost 30).
The best advice I can give is to support your daughter no matter what her decision, let her know you love her & sit back & enjoy the ride of watching her grow & know that this marriage & experience is part of her process.
Laurel
Hi Wisdom,
I just wanted to clarify that my daughter just told me last week she was having second thoughts about her marriage before it happened.