Desperate for advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Desperate for advice
7
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 1:29pm

Hi, I'm new here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 9:19pm

Wow that is really very hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 10:55pm
Thank you for your response. I agree with you that is a question of whether he just isn't acting on it because he would hurt me. Usually on Tuesday he goes out with his friend from work and stays out until around midnight. Tonight he came home. He has agreed to seek some sort of counseling and the one I contacted today asked that he and I go through two books that should lead to an answer of whether marriage counseling will work for us.
I think he's only doing it for me because he said he would do anything for me. His exact words were "I'll do whatever it is you want me to do." I answered that I just want him to be happy and he said he wanted the same for me.
But you know I've been married for 6 1/2 years. I've been with him for 8 and it is just so hard to let go. But slowly I'm coming to the conclusion that he just isn't in love with me anymore. I guess we'll work through the books while I continue to look for a job 3,000 miles away. Because when the end comes, I will need that distance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 2:46pm

HI there corduroy,


What your husband is doing is, quite frankly, abusive, mean spirited and cruel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 3:28pm

Thank you for your response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 9:07pm

Corduro,


If your husband is bi-polar is he taking any medication? Was he taking medication and then did he stop taking it? Is he receiving any therapy for his mental illness?


Having a family member suffer from this condition I am aware that bi-polar people can suffer from extreme narcissism one day and extreme depression the next. They are experts at manipulation and because they are so unpredictable people around them just "go along" because they act so crazy or they ignore it because it's too hard to deal with. I've watched these individuals destroy marriages, friendships, careers, and other relationships because they just can't or won't get help for their mental illness.


So, I suggest

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 8:50am

Wisdomtooth,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2005
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 8:29am

Hi there,