In Desperate Need of Advice
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| Mon, 06-23-2008 - 4:01pm |
I was married for 7 years as of February 08. My H raped me in April 07 and about 2 weeks later I started hanging out with a HS friend(now BF). I stayed with H in our home and things were ok up until about August or September when I admitted to having feelings for this friend. He is an abusive man any the physical manner along with the sexual and mental manner. He started getting more possessive and more controlling. I finally had enough with the threats and abuse and I walked out on him on Thanksgiving. I moved in with my now BF, he moved in the town w*ore into our house along with his parents. He was served divorce papers on March 1st...he didn't respond until march 21st (past the given 20 days), and he never even filed an answer, he filed the same papers that I had filed. Now, I was wanting the house in the beginning but I have seen what they have done to it so I don't care about the house even though I put my heart, soul, time and money into it. Today I went to see my divorce lawyer.
So, here is where I need advice...I have a tape of a conversation between him and I where he admits to raping me. He also admitted it to our church pastor. Would you if this ere your situation...take the tape to the police and press charges for rape or let it go and just be done with the whole thing? Why would you choose that choice? I don't know what to do. We have a pre-trial conference on Monday for the divorce and everything should be finalized by that point. I am torn between just being done with this whole ordeal and him getting what he deserves.
Edited 6/24/2008 6:31 pm ET by princess_spaffy


How strong are you feeling for this kind of fight?
I totally disagree with ctd799. Not only should you take that tape to the police, but you should also make a copy and give it to your lawyer. Yes rape cases are difficult to prove, but in your case, you have a confession on tape. I bet you could have the pastor subpoenaed (unless it was told in confidence). You may not be able to get anything for the divorce, but I bet you could in a civil case(as in pain and suffering). I would also consult another attorney (just to see what he/she has to say)because it sounds like your current isn't really working hard to get you what you need. You suffered years of abuse and it's not fair if he gets away with it. Good luck to you and keep us posted.
Hugs,
Claudia
Edited 6/24/2008 6:33 pm ET by princess_spaffy