Desperately Need Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Desperately Need Advice
3
Thu, 05-05-2005 - 9:32am

Okay it was day four yesterday of "no contact" and great. Last night he called! Here we go, saying he wanted to know if on saturday he could take the baby to pennsylvania to see his uncle who has never paid 1 bit of attention to our son in all of the 2 1/2 years he's been on this earth. My dilemna is, I dont trust my ex. I believe he hates me so much and would love to hurt me in anyway he can. The only way he can do that now is to use the baby. We dont have visitation set up through court but now Im wondering if I should. There was no contact for 4 days and then when he did call, he didnt even have the courtesy to say hi, how are you, nothing. Then he cut the conversation short saying well this is to be continued because jamie is coming. It like he just loves throwing her in my face. That wasnt even necessary. He could have simply said I have to go we can finish this talk later.

See, he lost his job now and a couple of weeks ago said he is considering moving to Pennsylvania and asking the 20yr old to go with him. Whatever on that note but do any of you know whether or not if my ex takes our son on a "visit" to PA and doesnt bring him back, does he have the right to take him and keep him if neither one of us have "legal custody"?

Please help. Im so afraid he is trying to pull something. Especially since it's the day before Mother's Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 05-05-2005 - 10:44am

Yes he can.

The only suggestion I have is to write up a document that states where he is going,how long etc... as many details as possible.Take the doccument and a wittness to a Notary Public where both of you haveto sign in front of this notary. Give a copy to your local police and see if you can file it with the court.

OR Don't let him go as he has no rights to take him from you either. I would get visitation in writing ASAP. I know it's nice to work things out but sometimes you have to protect your son and yourself. I know from experience. I thought we could work it out then he started pulling a bunch of crap on me so I took it to court.

There is even a clause that we agreed on at the end. The police are to intervien if need be. Here in PA the police will not enforce anything unless there is an order saying so.
A document that has been Notarized is considered a legal document.

Hope I helped.
K :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Thu, 05-05-2005 - 12:30pm

Thank you for your input. I have held off because he was so furious about me taking him to court for child support. Has said no judge has a right to tell him how much money to give to his child and shouldnt tell him when he can or cant see his child. But now this is a different ballgame. If he will be childish and say he refuses to see our son because there will be visitation set up by a judge than so be it I guess. I just want to enforce that he doesnt run away with our son in an attempt to hurt me. Even though he says he still loves me etc.

I dont trust him. Thanks again

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 11:04am

Unfortunately.... Judges are needed to enforce set guidelines to be sure that children's rights


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~