DH agreed to refinance

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
DH agreed to refinance
21
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 4:05pm

DH & I have been discussing the terms of the divorce on & off.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 8:40am

Are you going to refinance under your name only? I would if you're going to go that route. I would even try to say to stbx (if you give him some extra money to buy furniture)....that that's his buy out. I dont know if this will fly, but I think it's worth a shot. This was your home before you married him.......


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 10:45am
To clarify, the house belonged to me & my ex before I married DH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 9:53pm

I am new to the boards, and just read your posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2007
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 10:31pm
Sorry to bother you with financial questions Susan, but am currently in the process of divorcing my H of 17 yrs as well, and am in quite the pickle. I was a stay at home mom all these years and he was the breadwinner.I never even knew about any of our finances..Now I am discovering we are very much in debt with a second mortage/home equity line. He has been in love with a co-worker for years but now he is making some really bad financial decisions.I am not sure of his reasoning-I think he knew I was going to file and is trying to show me how tight things will be for us if I divorce him. She is waitng to get out of her marriage as well, so I think it is a waiting game.In the interim he lent a friend 35k without my permission out of the equity line for a real estate deal that he insists will be lucrative.But the market is crap, and my house is the collateral. He thinks because I have not worked in a long time( I do now) that I am not entitled to make any financial decisions. This has really made me sure that it is time to proceed with the divorce. What is your thought on this? Thanks a lot for listening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:49am

Your question isn't a bother at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:51am
I am going to a couple of banks this weekend to check out my options.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:53am
Is the house in both your names?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 7:39am

The house is in both of our names fortunately. I think that he racked up all this debt, including this loan because he knew eventually I would get frustrated and file..Then he could say -see we can't afford 2 seperate residences etc....I did see an attorney and have nto filed as yet but am on the verge. He went on several high end vactions, bought a big screen tv, furniture etc. I think this is all part of ruining us.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 7:46am

My name is on the deed, but he flipped a house a few years ago and I must have signed off on an equity line then.He could not get more cash on this line because my name is on this house fortunately. I did speak to a lawyer and as soon as I get a new credit card approved which will be used solely for legal purposes, she will began initiating the divorce. When you say life is difficult for your son and yourself, in what terms do you mean? Financially, emotionally, I am sure all of the above.I have 3 daughters that adore their dad.He just no longer adores their mom,,, I am also in Illinois, in Chicago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 10:03am

Life is difficult for so many reasons, where do I begin.

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