Did you get along with your EX/STBX I...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Did you get along with your EX/STBX I...
5
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 4:01pm

Did you get along with your EX/STBX In-laws?



  • I loved them
  • We got along reasonably well
  • I feel/felt neutral about them
  • I disliked them
  • I absolutely couldn't stand them
  • other (deceased, never met them, etc.)


You will be able to change your vote.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 4:29pm

now THIS is a poll :)

everything was "great" "warm fuzzy" "love and hugs" UNTIL the progression of the filing for divorce stage. MIL lives with STBX so she excuses allllll of his behavior, even to the disgusting degree of her son bringing skank GF down mother's day weekend to lay up in the house where SHE (MIL) resides, knowing that her son is still legally married to me ... go figure??

MIL's called constantly with the "i'm mad at you because " well, i guess she caught me on the wrong day because i finally said, "well, i'm mad at YOU for rearing such a selfish and controlling son, who is as openly communicative as a blade of grass; who has the character and dependability of a 1975 Pacer; and who has as much emotional sensitivity, affection, and compassion as a 9-11 terrorist; and is as committed and honorable as an ice cube dropped in Georgia red dirt" ... i think i got all that in one breath before i WANTED to say, but didn't ...

"and another thing, are you "mad" that your son has abandoned your grandsons physically, emotionally, and financially ... are you "mad" that despite his staunch and convicted views on "fidelity", he has taken up (don't care if we've been separated for 2 years, we'll STILL not divorced) with a GF he wants to introduce your grandsons to after only knowing her for 4 months ... are you "mad" that he pulls in $14K to $20K a month, yet you still ask ME for money allll the time ... are you "mad" that you are choosing to support this man unconditionally, despite the hurt he is directing toward your grandchildren, by any means ... are you "mad" that your family is refusing to "do the right thing" ... are you "mad" because i am FURIOUS!!

still love, love my SIL, although we don't speak a lot, she's despised STBX for a long, long time & has urged me to leave him repeatedly for the past 6 years (ha ha)

GREAT poll!

Avatar for susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 8:05pm
Yeah, I too, thought we got along reasonably well (got married a week after I turned 19, was pretty much clueless for a long time after that) with the ILs... as long as STBX kept pressuring me NOT to make waves when BIL would call my family members in a drunken rage to complain about me... not to complain too much when his father and sister would call our house in drunken fits to vent at us... when I finally got tired of us being doormats for STBX's whackjob family, and began standing up for myself, they became very cool towards me, and now they've totally circled their wagons around their perfect son, and are trying to screw me out of my equal portion of my home. The less I have to associate myself with them, the better. They are a sick bunch.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:13pm

I'm not sure that any of these really fit my situation. When I was married to x for 20 years, they hated me. They treated me like dirt. When I did leave for short periods twice due to his abuse, I was informed in no uncertain terms that he did not abuse me. (No, only physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally, and sexually. That's all. Enough to put me in the hospital with Battered Woman's Syndrome one time.) I was told I was a terrible mother because I didn't hit my kids or even hit their hands. (I used the firm hand holding and getting down to their level to tell them no very firmly technique. It worked GREAT!) I was an awful housekeeper based on the times that MIL came to our home which was twice, once when I had my dd in ICU 150 miles away and had been gone several days with x looking after the other kids and once when I was staying in the hospital with dd and told by x that he had taken care of the dishes in the sink. They covered up x's numerous, numerous, numerous affairs. Just really nice people all in all. >rolling my eyes into the back of my head<

So, after the divorce, WOW! They REALLY HATE his wife. LOL He is JUST like him!!! She is a rude, obnoxious, abusive, (make up your own word here). So, whenever I see them in a store or anything, MIL is RUNNING over to see me, to say hi, to talk to me and dh, and to show my pictures of whatever tacky crocheting thing she is up to currently. (And I do mean TACKY!!) I guess that they should have treated me better at the time, eh?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 9:48am

well - i voted 'reasonably well' but i must admit that i was married twice

my first inlaws - i get along reasonably well, even consider some of my sil's to be close. but then again, i have a son from that marriage and he is their grandson/nephew/cousin

my second marriage - when we got married, FIL was already dead for many many years. MIL was in a nursing home, she had alzheimers and ex never wanted me to meet her. i did meet his cousins and got along well with them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 11:07pm
I never met in-laws for 2nd marriage as they are deceased. However, I am still very close to mother-in-law from 1st marriage. She and my 2nd husband also got along very well. Kind of surprising, but she took my side when I divorced her son. So, has been very positive thing for my 2 sons that grandma and mom are still very close.