Did you know in your heart.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Did you know in your heart.....
13
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 7:40am

When you married your ex/STBX, did you know deep down you shouldn't be doing it? I knew it was the wrong choice, even at the time, but I foolishly went along with it anyway.


We got married when I was 24. Our son was already three years old. Our relationship had always been rocky and volatile. He had even carried on with a coworker while I was pregnant, and I decided to "forgive" him for it...but I was never actually able to forgive him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2006
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 9:22pm
Yep I did the same thing. Should have known better and now 12 years later I am getting ready to start the divorce proceedings. If only we could go back in time and make some changes. Or smack ourselves in the head and say WAKE UP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 7:11pm

I meant to respond to your post the other day - WOW! First, one of my best friends (who subsequently divorced) also went through with her wedding, even when she knew that morning that she didn't want to. I think the embarrassment factor had a lot to do with it.


I also went through a separation from my EX several years ago and didn't go through with the divorce...but wish I had. Then again, when I think about it, if everything we went through in our lives got us to where we are today....maybe it's not such a bad place ;)


But still, I must say, I'd really like to see some karma bite your ex in the rear!




How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 9:05pm

I went through with my wedding and I shouldn't have. My STBX cheated on me while we were planning our first wedding. I left him and moved to Texas only to move back to PA and him four months later. (He realized he made a mistake, blah blah blah). The ring went back on my finger and we started planning the wedding (again). Things were going okay, I guess. But what I thought was just "cold feet" (on my part) the day of the wedding, really was something more but I chose to ignore it, thinking everyone had traveled so far for the wedding etc. My wedding night was spent fighting with my new husband and eventually lying awake watching tv, while he lay passed out on the bed beside me, I remember thinking to myself..."What have I done?!" We were married for 6 years (together for 10) and things only got worse from there! The constant cheating and the "I don't know how I feel" talks just became too much for me. I didn't like who I saw in the mirror anymore and decided that enough was enough! I deserved so much more than that, and now I am so happy and I feel so free!

Erica :)

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