Did you want out or did he?
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Did you want out or did he?
| Sun, 06-18-2006 - 10:52pm |
Did you want out or did he?
- The split was my idea
- The split was his idea
- It was mutual
- Other (please specify)
You will be able to change your vote.

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Well, in my case, I "got even." In NC where we are, you have to be separated for one year before you can file for divorce..... I took that first step and moved out, starting the separation. I was in no hurry, however, to actually divorce, but considering he was dating NW and got married 7 months after the D was final, he certainly was! I waited until HE filed.
And now I think he's playing the same game with NW. They've been separated for 18 months, but I think he's waiting for HER to pull this plug!
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie
Wow.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
i voted "other" because my situation is complicated. i wanted things to change & work, but at the same time, i wanted OUT!
i believe, in essence, i wanted out 3 years into our 11-year marriage; met STBX on the rebound & should have followed my gut instinct. he's always been selfish, controlling, lives according to what others think of him, very materialistic, puts his business first(he's self-employed), friends second, golf third, then me & our sons ... he made allll major decisions without me, took vacations without our family & constantly talked to me in negative tone, i call it the "contraction speak" ... "you can't do this," you won't accomplish this" "you don't do that," etc. he displayed NOO empathy as we battled with infertility for years. did not think my work was as important as his career. resented me for not partnering with him to grow the family business although, he never viewed my priorities and goals as important or equal.
i got fed up; asked for marriage counseling in late 2004; he responded "i'm happy, you need counseling." SURE he was happy, he was living the life of a SINGLE man while married!! he soon left after that. we were alwaz sooooo far opposites in personality and goals. he was forever absent in our marriage, too much of an inconvenience to spend time with me, alcohol, golf, and friends were much, much more important.
he met skank GF in february & has now shut his sons out of his, as well as me ... nice! he's been blissfully happy ever since, so he tells me constantly.
we (boys and i) have been taking things day by day, and "any day now" we'll be "ok."
great poll!
Sometimes, I find myself reading a post on this board, and nodding in complete agreement. I was also told that I needed to go to counseling, because I was the one that was sick and needed help. My ex also said he was happy in the marriage. Sure, what was there not to be happy about? Like your STBX, it was inconvenient to spend time with DS, but always convenient to play golf, poker, movies, hang out with buddies half the night, etc. Why would he want to get a divorce when he had a live in housemaid, landscaper, and snow shoveler?
Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange...
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