Different Custody Arrangements
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Different Custody Arrangements
| Wed, 04-26-2006 - 5:29pm |
Im sure this or something like this may have been posted before but I was curious still. One of our fellow ivillages made a post about a 50/50 split. I know some of you have this. What I want clarified is how is the 50/50 split negotiated. My ex wants joint custody. That scares the crap out of me. Then upon doing research I found there is two types of joint custody. The physical and legal.
50/50 split does that automatically mean the two? Meaning say mom gets 2 weeks with the child and dad gets the other two weeks. I cant imagine not having my son at home for two weeks. I also read some of you say it worked out good for your kids and is not as scary as it sounds. It just horrifies me.

We do 50/50 and it works great for us.
We have the boys from Friday to Friday with a Weds night dinner for the non-residing parent that week. That way we never go a full week without seeing them.
It works for us because we live 2.3 miles from one another, we are able to communicate fairly well and the kids want to be in both homes.
Yes it is 1 week with us, 1 week with mom. We started this the summer before OSS began Kindy so they were 5 and 6.
You are correct that visitation schedules and parenting plans can, and often do, change. As the child matures their needs change. When DH and BM divorced the boys were infants so the schedule was more like 80/20. Once they hit school age he asked for more time. It took some arm twisting on our part but BM did not want to go back to court, especially since our legal costs are 0. They worked it out in mediation and created the parenting plan themselves.
I have most frequently heard 50/50 being referred to as the split of the financial assets, NOT the custody! In NY the marital assets must be split in half, not children.
You can work out whatever custody you want as long as it is reasonable for both parties.
You would not be expected to part with your children for 2 weeks at a time. You could do 2 days on, three days off, MWF and alternate weekends, whatever. The more distance between your residences the trickier it gets.
Id love it if my STBX got anywhere NEAR taking the kids for 50% of the time. Right now he has about 5%.
Heck, I'd be jumping for joy if xh had Joey even EOW... he saw him for 4 days last year (2005) and has so far seen him for 3 days this year... he wasn't interested in visitation and didn't even want holidays when the agreements were written and now lives several hundred miles away, but is responsible for transportation to and from, so unfortunately, he doesn't see Joey that often... but Joey still see's xil's every weekend, so he knows his family, which is very important too and the best case scenario given our circumstances...
*hugs*
Julie
I think it's a great idea for you to ask about other people's custody arrangements...it always help to get input from others that have been there.
The most common 50/50 custody I have seen is one week at mom's, the next week at dad's. Obviously, this only works well if the parents both live close to the child's school. My arrangement is about a 55/45, but it's a little more complex due to work schedules. I work the weekends, and Mondays overnight. So ex has DS Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and we alternate Tuesdays. I have DS the other days, as as well as every day after school, regardless as to who's "day" it is. Ex also has every 4th weekend "off," so DS is with me. I know it sounds complicated, but it works pretty well for us.
Also, custody arrangements can, and typically do, change over time. If it's not working out, it isn't permanently set in stone.
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson