Is dinner a mistake?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2006
Is dinner a mistake?
2
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 10:14am
Well, today is his birthday. We have been separated for a month now. I know I am not going back, but he is still trying to convince me that things will be completely different now, just like he tried to do for the third time now. He wants to have dinner tonight, but I'm not sure. I do not want to lead him on. This is hard for the both of us. Should I have dinner?
Also, I still do not have any of my stuff out of the house. Don't have much to get because we did not gain much while married. When should I do it? I need winter clothes from there. September is just a bad month, anniversary and birthdays. Please give me advice!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2005
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 12:26pm

If you have any reason to believe that dinner will include conversation from him about getting back together, don't do it--and besides, you may very well be leading him on in his eyes, and you shouldn't let that happen. And go get your stuff, regardless of what day it is. Perhaps arrange a time you can go when he isn't home, or bring a friend with you as a go-between. If your anniversary is coming up, ignore it when you around him or he may use it against you to guilt you into getting back together. You need to start moving forward and you can't do it if you keep acknowledging things that are over or in the past.

If it helps, my STBX told me he wanted a divorce 4 days before my 40th bday in June. He moved out 13 days before our 16th wedding anniversary in July and neither of us acknowledged it. His bday was in August, and I ignored it. When it is over, it is over, with just one of you or between both of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 6:56pm

If someone I wanted back accepted my dinner invitation, I would think they were interested in possibly reconciling. I'd say take a pass on the dinner.


As for getting your things out of the house, do that ASAP. It makes it easier to have a clean break.